PSYCHOLOGY
Talk to Me, Love | Explaining the 5 Love Languages
Love is often learned through lessons and first-hand experiences. However, a little homework online won’t hurt anyone.
I’m pretty sure you’ve encountered love languages at some point during your searches. These “languages” refer to the way people express and receive love. Author Gary Chapman first popularized them in his book, The 5 Love Languages.
For those unfamiliar with the concept, you may be wondering what these are. Fortunately, they’re easy to grasp because they’re self-explanatory. You may be surprised to find out you’ve been speaking at least one of them all along by the end of this entry.
#1: Physical Touch
Going by its name, the first language on this list has physical connection written all over it. And it isn’t limited to sex either — even gestures like holding hands and cuddling count.
Don’t get it twisted: people preferring this choice doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate other expressions of love. It’s just that they feel more comfortable and connected with touching.
This should be a given, but here’s a friendly reminder: consent should be asked and given. It won’t do if one of you forces things.
#2: Quality Time
As cliché as this sounds, time is indeed precious. And for others, it’s their ultimate currency.
Quality time doesn’t mean being by your partner’s side 24/7. You’re lounging together on your couch at home, but you’re emotionally disconnected. Your phones aren’t doing you any favors since you’re always glued to them.
The point: it’s all about making the most of your time together. Proximity is only part of the equation; intention and execution matter just as much too. So, put your phones down when you’re together and savor the moment.
#3: Gifts
Some people prefer showing and giving love through more tangible means. And that’s okay! Who doesn’t like presents every now and then?
This language is beyond wanting material things. The thought, significance, and especially the effort put behind each gift counts as well. Quantity is irrelevant here because it doesn’t necessarily equate to satisfaction.
#4: Words of Affirmation
Actions may speak louder than words, but that doesn’t mean the latter is irrelevant.
What you say has the power to make or break someone. This is where words of affirmation come in. A simple “thank you” from your partner can be enough to make you feel seen and appreciated.
#5: Acts of Service
Grand romantic gestures are great. However, there’s something about the little things that make the heart flutter more.
A little thoughtfulness (especially frequently) goes a long way. And it doesn’t go unnoticed either. Even something as simple as helping with chores without being asked is a big deal.
What’s Your Love Language?
After you’ve read about each of the love languages above, you may have already figured out yours. You may also be looking for a love language test online for any semblance of confirmation.
If you identify with more than one of the listed love languages above, that’s not unusual. Everyone loves differently, so that’s nothing to be scared of.
The 5 love languages isn’t a relationship gospel, but it’s a helpful starting point in understanding each other better. This entry should hopefully help as you continue building a healthy relationship.
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