ADVICE
Don’t Settle for Bare Minimum Romances
When couples first get together, they often do their best to pull out all the stops. Romantic candle-lit dinner dates and spontaneous adventures pepper their schedules. It’s as if the courtship hasn’t stopped.
But what happens when the honeymoon phase ends?
This can play out in two ways. One, both parties will equally hold their ends of the bargain to keep their relationship working. Or two, one (or both) will settle for the bare minimum.
How do you know if your expectations are fair? Are you asking for too much or putting up with too little?
Minimum Expectations
In a relationship, you have minimum requirements that need fulfillment (for lack of a better term). These requirements vary from person to person, as people have different experiences, values, commitment levels, and investment levels.
Some people live their lives by sticking to the minimum. Unless asked or required, they don’t go the extra mile. They don’t see the point of exceeding expectations, nor do they want to lift a finger in doing so. However, you shouldn’t settle for just the bare minimum.
Go Beyond the Bare Minimum in a Relationship
Relationships may vary, but most have shared minimum standards. Exceed what is normally expected by exerting that extra effort to make the relationship work. Don’t settle for anything less than the following:
#1: Decent behavior
If you’re a guy, the least you can do is be a gentleman. Good manners aren’t a tall order, so it shouldn’t be difficult to be polite. While men don’t need to roll out a red carpet for women, they should behave properly around and with them.
#2: Genuine compliments
Everyone likes verbal appreciation once in a while. Sometimes, we just need to hear that we look great, even if we don’t feel that way. But if you’re going to give a compliment, it should come from a genuine place. Don’t comment just for the sake of it.
#3: Affectionate gestures
Sometimes words aren’t enough to express affection. Actions are just as important too! Give your partner a sweet peck whenever possible and wrap each other in a warm embrace from time to time. A little intimacy is expected out of a loving relationship.
#4: Support
You don’t need this list to remind you of this minimum expectation. If you do, you may want to rethink what you’re doing in your relationship. How can you expect support from your partner if you can’t extend the same courtesy?
#5: Proper communication
Some of us may be sick of hearing this, but there’s a reason many relationship experts emphasize this.
If you’re feeling something is off, talk to your partner about it. You don’t need to tell each other everything, but you should at least talk to each other about important things like plans, milestones, and even grievances.
It takes both parties to keep relationships going, so do your part — even if it means exerting extra effort. Neither should keep score about what you have and haven’t done. If you don’t meet eye-to-eye, then the point of staying together is moot.
Whether your relationship is on its last legs or not, you should know the difference between the bare minimum and unrealistic expectations. Don’t settle for less because your relationship isn’t a job — it’s a commitment.
