AGE GAP
Should You Believe in Age Gap Calculation Rules?
Dating today has (virtually) no rules. You like who you like, and (almost) anything goes.
Among these modern norms are age gaps. Gone are the days when a person gets crucified by everyone for going out with someone with a significant age difference. Whether that someone is 2 or 10 years older or younger, the gap doesn’t matter much nowadays.
But for some people, it’s a deal-breaker. Others even go as far as following age gap calculation rules when considering matches.
What are these calculator rules? Is age merely a number? Does it make a significant difference in relationships?
Introducing the Half-Your-Age-Plus-Seven Rule: An Age Calculator for Daters
Whenever someone asks about acceptable dating age gaps, another person will most likely mention the half-your-age-plus-seven formula. This calculation originated from a 1901 book entitled Her Royal Highness Woman and His Majesty Cupid.
Per this rule, one should divide their age by two, then add seven. For example, let’s say you’re a 28-year-old. Divide that by two, and you get 14. Take the quotient and add seven. The sum (21) is the acceptable minimum age of a potential match.
Should You Follow the Math?
Do people follow this formula? Some daters do. However, take it with caution. Just because others subscribe to such a pattern doesn’t mean it will work for you.
Science doesn’t provide much support for its effectiveness either. A 2001 investigation had a team of Dutch psychologists researching the effects age limits have on people’s potential matches.
Findings show that women prefer going out with men around their age, regardless of relationship type. On the other hand, men lean toward younger women for flings and other casual arrangements; they go for ladies close to their age if they want something more serious.
Another study also argues against the half-your-age-plus-seven age gap calculation. A 2017 paper pointed out that the average gap between couples in North America is 2.3 years.
Do Age Gaps Affect Relationships?
Age restrictions are logical in some cases. It makes sense to have regulations on things like suffrage and alcohol purchases. However, such logic doesn’t necessarily apply to dating and relationships.
Like it or not, age gaps have significant impacts on relationships.
More often than not, both parties in age-gap couples are on different timelines because of different life stages. This reality may cause couples to disagree on priorities. If not, the inverse happens, and they agree on what to prioritize.
Power dynamics also come into play. This factor is especially relevant for couples with an age difference of over 10 years. For example, one partner is more financially stable, while the other is still growing their career.
The stigma that age-gap couples receive undeniably affects their relationships. They tend to anticipate backlash, making them more honest with their partners.
Should Age Matter?
Age gap calculation formulas may tell you to stick to specific numbers. However, you can’t predict who you will fall for. That person may be significantly older or younger than you.
Should you find yourself in an age-gap relationship, you and your partner should be honest about the bigger picture. What are you both prepared for? Do you see yourselves sticking around in the future?
While you should take your relationship a little more seriously than others, don’t forget to enjoy each other’s company. What’s the point of dating if you can’t have fun?
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