PSYCHOLOGY
Deciphering the Candid Girlfriend | Who Is She?
The internet can be weird. Sometimes, you come across the most helpful hacks known to mankind. In other instances, you encounter some of the most random concepts you never thought would exist.
TikTok is one of the platforms where you’ll find plenty of the latter. Many microtrends emerge from the popular video-sharing app, from dance challenges to social experiments.
Dating and relationship trends are no exception. Among them is the “candid girlfriend.” Some may think it’s nothing compared to pick-me girls, but trust me — they can be just as bad.
Let’s get to the bottom of this phenomenon.
The Rise of a Trend
How did this come about?
This term emerged from an episode of “Subway Takes,” a TikTok series where New York City-based comedian Kareem Rahma asks random subway passengers for their hottest takes on various subjects. Answers range from inoffensive to unhinged.
Some spicy takes go viral. One video, in particular, has amassed over 13 million views. The clip talks about the very subject of this article. The short video features comedian Stef Dag’s hot take on dating, wasting no time and mincing no words when Rahma handed her the mic.
Here’s what she had to say:
My take is that all guys think they want to date the cool, artsy, [and] baddie girlfriend. But that’s actually not the case at all. What all guys in New York want to date is the “candid girlfriend.” You can trademark that.
What’s This Kind of Girl Like?
According to Dag, here are the typical qualities of such a woman:
- A height of 5’55”
- Naturally thin
- “Mousy” brown hair that doesn’t go beyond shoulder-length
- May have studied art history
- A pomegranate lover
- Has a boyfriend who exclusively uploads film photos of her in his curated Instagram dumps
Specific, yes?
In addition to those bullet points, Dag made a biting commentary. She described them as the “patient zero of pick-me girls.”
She even went on to say that if pick-me girls feign “being interesting and unique to get attention,” candid girlfriends have little to no thoughts. In her words, men prefer the latter because they can make muses out of them.
Are They Good for You?
Unsurprisingly, the viral video has garnered mixed reactions.
Some agree and believe she pointed out a real thing: what people say they want and what they genuinely desire is, more often than not, different. Others disagree and think Dag is being too critical of the women instead of the men projecting their fantasies onto them.
To answer the subhead’s question, that’s entirely up to you.
Since we shouldn’t paint daters as stereotypes, we also shouldn’t settle for people who put us in boxes. We can’t tick every item on someone’s checklist or live up to fantasies, especially the most unrealistic ones. Trying to please everyone will only stress you out.
At the same time, we shouldn’t give the candid girlfriend or boyfriend types too much flack. If you happen to fall under this category, don’t worry. You may earn a few side-eyes, but don’t let that stop you from living your life.
