RELATIONSHIPS
Chemistry in a Relationship Isn’t the Be-All and End-All
When two people get together, there’s either an attraction or repulsion between them.
Say you’re on a night out with friends and you’re examining a pretty face who had been a total stranger just a few minutes ago. You find yourselves sitting together at a dimly lit table over drinks.
Though intangible, you can feel something between you — brewing. Maybe it’s the way they look at you, or how they laugh when hilarity strikes. It’s not lost on your friends and other people because they can sense it too.
This is what we call chemistry.
Is chemistry in a relationship important? Absolutely. However, it’s not the only crucial element in keeping the relationship alive.
Why Does Chemistry Matter?
When two people meet, sparks fly for a reason. Chemistry is a significant contributor to the sparks and butterflies that couples, or even non-couples, feel when they’re together.
Chemistry manifests two people’s desires to be together. It keeps things exciting and fresh, preventing boredom from routine. Something as simple as washing the dishes seems more fun when there’s someone to do it with.
Without chemistry, relationships may feel mundane. It might feel as if something is missing, and that you haven’t progressed past the limerence stage because there hasn’t been anything to build on.
Some believe chemistry is black and white; you either have it or you don’t. You can’t force it, but it can grow as relationships blossom. For example, you and a match gradually progress from small talk to deeper conversations. How’s that for growth?
Don’t Go with a Black-and-White Approach
The importance of chemistry in a relationship can’t be overstated, but isn’t enough to sustain one. Let’s say sparks instantly fly between you and a match, but they don’t treat you as great as you hoped.
Take this as a sign that a happy relationship is highly unlikely if you two keep it up.
Having similar tastes and principles is great, but put on the brakes — that doesn’t mean the stars are aligned for you. If you and a match have some contrasting interests, don’t worry. It’s not the end of the world!
Being with someone with different viewpoints gives you some necessary insight, widening your perspective. Heck some couples with contrasting preferences last even longer than like-minded ones. How, you ask? Two things: connection and compatibility.
You can’t have one without the other. If someone ticks all your boxes, great! However, that doesn’t guarantee a strong connection. Conversely, an intense connection isn’t the sole indicator of long-term compatibility.
Just like chemistry, don’t look at compatibility and connection through a black-and-white lens. While you should take all three into account, try asking yourself these questions as well:
- Does your match make you feel safe and comfortable?
- Do they hear you out and understand you?
- Do you respect each other’s differences?
- Do you practice open and honest communication?
- Is individuality respected and maintained?
Chemistry Shouldn’t Be the Only Ingredient in Healthy Relationships
Chemistry in a relationship is vital, but there’s only so much it can do. There’s no use in staying with someone if neither party wants to do the work that goes into keeping things running.
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