PSYCHOLOGY
Complete Healing Isn’t a Requirement for New Relationships
If you can’t love yourself, how can you love someone else?
We’ve all heard that (and its variants) at some point in life.
There’s a reason people often say this, especially after breakups. Such are naturally emotional events that leave people in a wreck. So, taking some time off is reasonable to pick up the pieces and recover.
However, complete healing can be a tall order and isn’t a one-size-fits-all process. It isn’t always possible by the time a new relationship enters the horizon.
What Does Complete Healing Look Like?
Most of us define healing as being well after sustaining an injury. In an emotional context, we refer to it as either relief from mental conditions or simply achieving peace.
In dating and relationships, healing means making space for harmony and balance. Emotional wellness takes priority because it’s essential to make love work.
Don’t get it twisted. Working to become the best version of yourself is never a bad thing! However, there’s one thing you want to remember: healing looks different for everybody. People have different coping mechanisms, some more extreme than others.
Being Completely Healed Isn’t Always Possible
Respect and healthy communication should be a part of everyone’s dating and relationship non-negotiables. However, we don’t owe it to anyone to be fully healed before entering new relationships.
Healing in the context of dating isn’t the same as healing from physical injuries. The latter has a clear beginning and end, while the former isn’t as clear-cut.
Nowadays, healing feels like we’re trying to throw out the messy parts of human nature. However, we can’t completely shy away from the ugly parts of life. Loving someone means facing the good and bad — red flags included.
Let People In Anyway
But isn’t entering a new relationship when you’re not completely okay unfair on your partner’s part? After all, they’re getting a broken version of you.
Just because you aren’t at 100% doesn’t mean you’ll be a bad partner. There’s a stigma about dating too early after a breakup, but take it with a grain of salt. Time and isolation aren’t always the answer to healing broken hearts.
Sometimes, it takes other people to help you make it happen.
As cheesy as this sounds, no man is an island. No matter how many journal entries you write, how regularly you meditate, or how much you try to distract yourself with new hobbies, trust won’t grow back to what it once was. Get back on your feet and put your faith in people.
Don’t wait for a magical moment when you realize you’re fully healed to start dating again. Being a sitting duck may cause you to miss out on someone great. Regrets come too late for a reason.
When a potential partner shows up, set the record straight. Tell them where you are on your healing journey. You’ll know they’re good for you if they’re understanding and supportive.
Complete healing isn’t a prerequisite for a loving relationship. Everyone has flaws, but they aren’t (and shouldn’t) be an indictment of your worth.
