LIFE LESSONS
Love Lessons to Learn from Crazy, Stupid, Love
Romantic comedies are designed to make us think about love and how we approach it. They employ simple tropes so as not to complicate audiences.
Despite their fictional nature, a good chunk of them (especially modern ones) do depict relationships in a grounded manner. Among them is Crazy, Stupid, Love. The 2011 film has held up well, with its humor and premise still giving viewers a treat after over a decade.
Some of the movie’s bits may be exaggerated (cue Cal throwing himself out of a moving vehicle, for example), but its main points strike chords that are all too real for many of us.
Take these lessons from the film and use them as starting points for your love life:
#1: Don’t lose yourself in relationships.
The movie sees Cal (Steve Carrell) in shambles after his wife, Emily (Julianne Moore), admits to having an affair and wanting a divorce. Because of the news, he’s distraught.
Before the discovery, Cal was a well-meaning family man who always took his responsibilities seriously. However, he doesn’t appear to take care of himself, letting his appearance and behavior become mundane. Some even say his disregard is a reason Emily started drifting away.
Don’t get me wrong: Cal isn’t responsible for Emily’s mistake. But the point here is this: just because you’re in a committed relationship doesn’t mean you should stop looking after yourself. Your relationship isn’t your identity.
#2: Boundaries will always matter.
Like communication, the need for boundaries can’t be overstated. Just look at Jacob (Ryan Gosling). He knows what he wants and how he’ll get it. His aura lets audiences know who he is from the jump.
Jacob isn’t the only character with firm boundaries. Hannah (Emma Stone) makes hers known too. When Jacob makes his initial move on her, she makes it clear that she isn’t interested. Fortunately for her, Jacob respected that. Later on, Hannah instead approaches him on her terms.
Boundaries aren’t killjoys. They exist because they help others understand you better. That, in turn, will result in better connections.
#3: Intimacy isn’t just physical.
If you’ve seen the movie, you may remember the part where Hannah allowed Jacob to take her home. He attempts to seduce her, only to get quizzed/picked apart by her in his every move. Instead of retaliating, he laughs at himself, exposing his self-awareness.
Through Hannah’s involvement, Jacob becomes vulnerable. Instead of getting physical, the two end up talking the whole night. Jacob even ends up falling asleep, with Hannah giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek.
Moments like that show that intimacy is beyond physical activity. It’s the comfort, security, and vulnerability one feels when connecting with another person.
#4: Confidence is a good look on everyone.
Cal undergoes a drastic change throughout the movie. Through Jacob’s assistance, he morphs from a mopey and frumpy middle-aged man to a sharp-dressed and assertive gentleman. He swaps his loose clothes and doubts for better-fitting outfits and security.
Makeover aside, Cal’s transformation holds a timeless lesson: confidence is a person’s best outfit. No clothing can match the power of one’s aura. Even if you’re wearing a simple shirt and jeans combo, the way you carry yourself will stand out more than your clothes.
There’s a reason Crazy, Stupid, Love remains beloved by many. Aside from the hilarity, its takeaways can teach people a thing or two about their approaches to romance.
