DATING TRENDS
Making a Case for Dating Monogamously
Like most things, people’s preferences and priorities change over time. Dating habits are no exception. And with modern sensibilities dominating the current landscape, dating monogamously is being cast in a bad light.
As I said in a previous entry, monogamy isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. That’s valid; considering everyone has different wants and needs.
However, there are those who are entirely against monogamous setups. Their reasons vary, from misconceptions to past traumas. Others simply can’t imagine themselves with just one person.
Fortunately, monogamy isn’t the doom some people think it is. Just because you’re with one person doesn’t mean you’re trapped. Who says monogamy has to be a boring relationship?
Different Strokes for Different Folks
Say you tried giving monogamy a go, only to have unhappy endings after several attempts. Your past experiences have given you enough ammo to join the anti-monogamy crowd.
Are your pains valid? Absolutely. But put the pitchfork down for a moment. Just because you or some people hate/dislike monogamy doesn’t mean everybody else should too.
Many may relate to your gripes with monogamy. However, no one should judge anybody for their more traditional preferences. It’s 2024, after all, and we’re freer than we’ve ever been to make our desired choices. We like what we like!
Trends Don’t Always Tell The Whole Tale
A 2022 Bumble survey shared that 16% of Americans out of the 14,000 global users who participated have considered getting into ethical non monogamous relationships. In addition, a 2023 YouGov poll revealed that one-third of Americans described their ideal relationships as setups other than total monogamy.
Statistics and studies are credible, but that doesn’t mean that multigamy will completely take over dating as we know it.
It’s no secret that dating apps comprise users from different walks of life. And because of that, some daters wish they had the option to filter for users who prefer monogamous relationships. A Wall Street Journal piece even talked about this, with the point being that some people still prefer exclusivity over open relationships.
If you’re a monogamous-loving dater in a sea of polyamorous people, the good news is that you’re not alone. You’ll still find someone aligning with your preferences. You’ll just need to dig more than usual to find gold.
Reframe Your Idea of Monogamy
You’re not wrong to look for monogamy in the modern dating world. Who doesn’t want a long-lasting love with the one person who ticks every single one of your boxes?
However, some of us may want to rebrand the “‘til death do us part” mantra.
Monogamy doesn’t have to result in marriage and kids. Yes, you want to be with one person at a time, but it’s not a guarantee that you’ll be each other’s endgame. Think of it this way: your love story has multiple chapters, with some longer than others. And that’s okay! Your “happily ever after” may not happen in this chapter, but it may come in the next few.
Dating monogamously doesn’t promise forever, but it’s not something to overlook either. Don’t let rising divorce rates scare you. It may not be as vibrant and exciting as multigamy, but its strengths feel just as fulfilling. So go ahead — be proud to be a one-woman man or one-man woman.
