Dating Is Not a Game, So Why Are We Treating It Like It Is?
These days, it’s common to hear people compare love and relationships to a game. We’ve seen a lot of reality shows portray groups of singles scheming and competing “to find love.” Some even approach meeting people like a game of chess, employing strategies and “seduction tactics” to win over attractive prospects, thus the term “the dating game.”
But when do we realize that dating is not a game? People with real emotions are involved.
When you date someone, you’re dealing with living, breathing human beings — not characters. You’re not simply paying for entertainment. You’re likely seeking meaningful connections. And unlike games, dating has no clear winners or losers. The goal isn’t to claim some prize but to find genuine emotions and relationships.
People are not props or pawns to be maneuvered for amusement. Many people approach dating hoping to be seen and known in their wholeness, complexity, and depth. They desire intimacy, not just an escape or distraction.
Casual encounters have their place, but for most people, they just paper over the deep loneliness that pervades much of dating. Two individuals sharing time and laughter can briefly transcend the unspoken longing for a deeper connection. But the longing remains.
Why Seeing Dating as a Game Is Pointless
Dating isn’t chess. Real relationships start when you get out of your own head and see the other person as a human being — not an opponent or obstacle to overcome.
When you approach dating like a game, it reduces people to numbers, stats, or prizes to claim. It guarantees you’ll stay distant, and never truly listen or connect.
Meeting someone with potential as a partner means wanting the very best for them, not using them as props in a story you craft about yourself. It necessitates empathy, honesty, and humility. Dating loses its purpose when it’s not about forming deep bonds or finding love, but feeding an ego desperate to “win.” The real meaning is found beneath the game.
Following Your Heart, Not the “Rules”
Dating should never feel like a game to be “won.” When we meet someone, we should think of them with compassion, seeing their humanity reflected in our own.
Love sees you as you are and accepts you as what you are about to become. It meets you in your imperfections and lifts you up, patient and steadfast. While dating’s pleasures may seduce you, always remember that your actions touch real lives. With care, sincerity, and an awakened spirit, dating can lead to not just fleeting joys but deep rewards: meaning, understanding, and home.
The rules of dating, like life’s few certainties, will always bend or break. But through vulnerability, honesty, and mutual support, you can find your way to love when you make the heart your guide.
