RELATIONSHIPS
A Single’s Guide to Dating With a Purpose
Are you tired of clicking and swiping through matches? Here’s some news for you: you’re not alone. Your choices may be limitless, but so is your burnout. It’s as if everyone is the same person you’re NOT looking for.
Finding a great connection isn’t rocket science, but it takes work. This is where dating with a purpose comes in. It means emphasizing your intentions and looking for people with similar priorities.
It might seem intimidating. In a crowded minefield, the modern dating scene can tire out even the most eager daters. However, it’s worth pursuing anyway. Finding someone who clicks is rewarding and fulfilling.
Give Me a Reason: Why Date With Intentions?
Some of you already know how frustrating it is to go out with someone who doesn’t match your energy. That alone is enough of a reason to date intentionally.
Still unconvinced? These reasons may push you to change your mind:
1. Heartbreak won’t come calling.
Falling for the wrong person is a tale as old as time itself. Dating someone who’s on an opposite timeline will inevitably lead to breakups. You won’t waste time when you date someone whose wants and needs align with yours.
2. Quality trumps quantity every time.
Contrary to popular opinion, dating isn’t just a numbers game. Collecting matches like Infinity Stones won’t make you as clever as you think. You don’t need to make a move on every person you encounter.
3. Genuine intentions lead to stronger relationships.
Acting cool is useless when you find yourself falling head over heels. If you and your match feel something special is brewing, don’t play hard to get!
Laying your cards on the table will let you know whether or not you’re on the same page. And if you’re able to pick out the one you have a connection with, your relationship will start on a high note.
Coming up with a dating game plan is a time-consuming endeavor. But trust me: you’ll thank yourself later.
4 Steps to Dating With a Purpose
How does one date purposely? Go to the drawing board and follow these steps:
Step #1: Figure yourself out.
Do some soul-searching. What do you want from a partner? What do you need from a relationship?
As you map out your preferences and priorities, take the time to build your confidence. It won’t do if you navigate the dating scene with self-doubt. How can you expect to understand and connect with potential partners if you can’t even figure yourself out?
Step #2: Meet people.
Manifesting your dream partner alone won’t cut it. Go out and meet people! You won’t know who your lover is unless you see them in the flesh.
Don’t stop at specific types of daters. Mingle with diverse crowds and explore possibilities. Observe their behaviors and take notes.
Step #3: Compromise, but don’t sell your non-negotiables short.
There’s a difference between compromise and being a pushover. The latter means forgetting your purpose, while the former is simply meeting halfway for resolutions.
Don’t toss your non-negotiables aside for the sake of getting a partner. You’ll only make yourself (and by extension, the relationship) miserable.
Step #4: Go beyond surface-level questions.
Don’t stop at simple getting-to-know-you questions. Go deep and ask about their wants and needs. They may be encouraged to give answers with substance. Don’t forget to give your match the floor to ask you meaningful questions as well.
Dating with a purpose shouldn’t be as complicated as it sounds. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll realize how healthy it is.
Don’t think of this entry as a dating bible. Instead, treat this as a friend with well-meaning advice.
