Reality
Brace Yourself for Engagement Season
How to Survive the Pressure
Chilly weather shows no signs of stopping as November is fast approaching. For many, this means Halloween costumes and spooky stories. Meanwhile, for others, the 11th month of the year is the start of engagement season. Yes — it’s a thing! It’s not an official holiday, but it exists.
This season can be a lot to take in, regardless of your relationship status. Here’s how to wade through its waters in one piece.
When Is Engagement Season?
What’s in the November air, you ask? Per The Knot’s Engagement & Jewelry Study, around 20% of couples get engaged between November and February. And this makes sense!
These months are peppered with holidays, which means people gather with their families. These reunions are great opportunities for celebrating such a huge life chapter.
If you’re planning to put a ring on your partner, I suggest following this popular timetable. Make your holidays even merrier with their sweet “yes.”
The Pressure Hits
As the season begins, you’ll see an engagement reveal or two on social media. Whether you’re single or partnered up, you may feel pressure creeping in.
If you’re in the latter group, you might not help but make comparisons when you see people take that leap. While you’re happy in your relationship, you may feel lumps forming in your throat as you scan through proposal posts. Your mental clock starts ticking, wondering whether it’s time for you and your partner to also get engaged.
On the other hand, if you’re the former, the engagement season may trigger you. Watching couples bask in their love and move forward to a new relationship milestone can make you doubt your potential as a partner. You may feel left behind as the world seemingly moves on without you.
Get a Hold of the Pressure
The anxiety around this season is a complex feeling. That said, though, it isn’t an impossible hill to climb. Take these tips to heart as you manage your stress:
#1: Your feelings are valid.
There’s no right or wrong way to feel about this season. You’re entitled to your feelings; no one can take that away.
If you’re over the moon for your engaged friends and family, that’s great! Who wouldn’t want to see their loved ones get their happily ever afters? Be supportive and show up for your people.
But if pressure and anxiety are bubbling at the pit of your stomach, don’t deny yourself that. Feel what you feel — even if it seems ugly.
#2: Don’t compare yourself to others.
Theodore Roosevelt was right: comparison is the thief of joy. Engagements are happy news, so don’t let comparisons taint that. It’s normal to ask yourself when your turn is, but don’t let that thought linger longer than necessary.
Your time will come. It may not be as soon as you wish, but it will happen. Don’t let comparisons shake your faith.
#3: Talk to your partner or yourself, whichever applies.
Even if a proposal isn’t on your wishlist now, take this season to check in with your partner. Talk about your priorities, wants, and goals. Who knows — that conversation may give you the clarity you need.
If you’re single, take this moment to have some deep-seated reflections. How do you genuinely feel about the season? What do you want for yourself in terms of relationships down the line? While they aren’t burning questions, their answers are still helpful.
#4: Establish and maintain boundaries.
Since this season has many family gatherings coinciding with it, your vulnerability may be higher because of their questions, especially regarding your love life. While (mostly) well-intentioned, it can get annoying and invasive.
With that, affirm your boundaries by stating your discomfort around their questions politely and firmly. That should be enough for them to pivot the conversation.
Don’t let the pressures of the engagement season sour your joy. Whether you’re getting hitched or not, you should enjoy this happy period without dark clouds hovering over you.
Reference
Johnson, Chapelle. 2023. “What Is Engagement Season? What to Know and How to Prepare.” The Knot. https://www.theknot.com/content/things-to-know-for-proposal-season.
