LIFE LESSONS
Fixing a Broken Heart You Didn’t Break Has Consequences
Oh, to love and be loved — what a universal desire. But for every moment two hearts unite, another pair gets torn in two. Heartbreak doesn’t pick people, nor does it pick the means to get it done. From job application rejections to bad breakups, they all sting.
People cope with heartbreak in different ways. And with that, the recovery time varies. This uncertainty makes dating more complicated than it already is.
Sometimes, we get together with people whose hearts need mending. And with that, we end up fixing a broken heart we didn’t even break. The problem is that while you may help them get back on your feet, you may be paying the price.
Breaking Your Heart Right Back: The Consequences of Being a Martyr
Everyone has excess baggage. However, that fact doesn’t make it suck any less. These are some of the (unintended) consequences of mending another person’s broken heart:
1. You’ll always walk on eggshells.
Broken-hearted people don’t want to get burned by the same flame twice. And because of that, they tend to overthink everything, down to the minute details. You can sense this fear from a mile, making you act like you’re walking on thin ice.
2. Your patience will run thin.
In line with consequence #1, broken hearts don’t have the patience to deal with anything (even the smallest things) reminding them of their suffering. If you do something triggering their pain, they’ll give you a piece of their mind.
On your end, dealing with all this can test your patience. Sometimes, you may even feel like a rubber band on the verge of snapping.
3. Emotional unavailability will be constant.
Heartbreak can make even some of the most exuberant people withdraw themselves from their surroundings. They may start catching feelings for other people, but they can’t communicate them. Their heartbreak has them in a vice-like grip, clinging on for dear life until they muster enough strength to snap out.
4. You’ll hear every excuse in the book.
Since they’re back to the drawing board, broken-hearted people have their insecurities preying on them. All their second-guessing makes them throw every excuse they know to convince you they aren’t worth your effort. And the sad thing is, they may not be aware of this self-sabotage.
5. Keeping up with the emotional roller coaster will be difficult.
There’s no manual teaching us how to fix a broken heart because cases are unpredictable. A defining factor of that unpredictability is emotions.
I’m sure you’ve seen your share of heartbroken people’s fluctuating feelings. That roller coaster isn’t always fun either — if the highs are highs, the lows are lows.
6. You’ll get burnt out.
One consequence is enough to tire someone out. Dealing with all of them simultaneously is a different mammoth altogether. Sure, you’ll help a broken heart patch itself again, but at what cost?
Fixing a broken heart you didn’t break isn’t the two-way street some think it is. If you find yourself in such a situation, brace yourself for curveballs.
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