DATING ADVICE
Is a Relationship Better When You’re Friends First?
Relationships begin under different circumstances. Some begin as total strangers. Others started as enemies. Several partnerships began in casual setups.
Meanwhile, some couples were friends first.
Transforming from friends to lovers isn’t unusual. Many fictional depictions put this trope front and center in their storylines. Its numerous examples have inspired many daters, especially the hopeless romantic ones, to try the approach. Who wouldn’t want a sweet triumph after a long period of yearning?
But with that said, here’s a question you might not help but ask: is friendship a better relationship foundation than others?
How Does Friends First Approach to Dating Play Out?
A 2020 study stated that relationships that started with friendships were more common, with an estimated 68% of participants admitting to such.
Often, proximity triggers a shift in the relationship. You’re regularly or frequently in contact as neighborhood friends or coworkers.
The more such interactions continue, the more you get to know each other. In turn, attraction increases. It’s unsurprising if one (or both in the best-case scenario) starts falling for the other. After all, humans like the comfort of familiarity.
The Upsides of Being Friends First
These reasons can make for a good argument for this beginning.
#1: You’ll get to know each other from a safe distance.
Some relationships don’t end well because people don’t like what they’ve discovered after the attraction phase. A pretty face may hide an ugly personality.
Friendship can help you avoid this pitfall. It provides a distance that keeps feelings from getting involved. In turn, a potential relationship feels possible and logical.
#2: Friendship builds trust.
Blossoming relationships always involve sparks. However, there’s one thing that makes the friends-to-lovers dynamic stand out: established trust.
Friendship gives you space to focus on getting to know each other and building trust. You prioritize the connection, so dates are the furthest thing from your mind.
#3: The “getting to know you” phase is less awkward.
Strangers can feel awkward while getting to know each other during a relationship’s initial stages. They’re learning a lot about each other quickly, which can get overwhelming.
But for friends, the shift feels less jarring and more organic. Since your connection is already there, you can skip that part and get to the fun stuff. Why? At this point, you’ve known each other’s intimate aspects.
#4: The transition will feel more natural.
Since we’re on the subject of change, here’s another perk for friends-to-lovers: smoother adjustment periods. You’ll have an easier time because you’ve gotten used to being around each other outside of a romantic context.
Should You Be Friends First Before Getting Together?
In response to the title’s question, the answer varies from person to person. Some prefer to cut to the chase. Meanwhile, others want to bide their time.
A perfect relationship doesn’t exist, but there’s some merit to having a true friendship before romance. It grants you the grace to go slow and process things properly. There’s no pressure because things are playing out at a natural pace.
If you prefer to tread slowly, I suggest taking this route. You’ll find dating more enjoyable if you’re friends first before becoming partners. This foundation will make your relationship more fulfilling, thanks to a solid build-up.
Reference
Travers, Mark. 2021. “The Friends-To-Lovers Pathway To Romance Is More Common Than You Think, Suggests A New Psychology Study.” Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2021/07/19/the-friends-to-lovers-pathway-to-romance-is-more-common-than-you-think-suggests-a-new-psychology-study/.
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