RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
Don’t Let Frozen Images Ruin Your Relationship
Do you and your partner feel that you often argue about the same things? Do you frequently fail to reach a resolution? Do your fights seem to get worse as they go on? Do they always start with “you never” or “you always?”
If you’ve checked one (or worse, all) of these boxes, there’s surely trouble in paradise. The “always” and “never” statements reinforce behavior, insisting they’re a part of your and your partner’s core.
And this results from having frozen images of each other. The longer those mental pictures persist, the more likely your relationship will remain stuck in an ugly place.
Where Do These Images Come From?
What camera captures such pictures? How do they happen in the first place?
These images, believe it or not, come from your assumptions. If analog film develops from days to weeks, these assumptions have been on your mind for months or years. And since they’ve been brewing for a long time, they’re seared into your brain.
This creates a negative mental picture of your partner and vice versa. It implies unfair criticism, which can lead to false narratives. It’s as if you’ve sent your partner off to an abandoned city and given them no chance to escape despite their best efforts.
How Do These Pictures Impact Relationships?
As mentioned, these images are anything but picture-perfect. Telling your partner they “never” or “always” behave a certain way is harmful. It’s like pointing a finger at them and implying they’re not measuring up.
With this, frozen images poison the well by shrinking perspectives. Boxing your partner in a certain way (whether it’s “never” or “always”) is black-and-white thinking.
Also, accusations and assumptions can cause withdrawal. You throw daggers at your partner unprompted. And in an attempt to feel safe, they take a defensive stance, making bad fights even uglier.
Most importantly, these images stunt your relationship and individual growth. Since you’re dead set on the negative mental picture you have of your partner, you throw your curiosity out the window. You stop getting to know them, which causes them to do the same.
Break Free From the Cycle
Frozen images are red flags, but they’re not impossible to recover from. Thaw them out by checking these things off:
- Get to the bottom of the pictures
No one exhibits specific behaviors out of thin air. Instead of pointing the finger, take a walk in your partner’s shoes and understand their reasons. This will encourage them to (willingly) return the favor.
- Practice empathy and compassion
Melting those images will take time, so don’t expect overnight success. And with that, treat each other kindly. There’s no need to add stress to an extensive experience.
- Embrace change
Is change scary? Absolutely! However, there’s no running away from it. Relationships are no exception. What’s applicable now may not make sense in the future.
Don’t cower away from change. Instead, stare it in the face and welcome it with open arms. Treat it as a chance at growth rather than a threat.
Don’t leave frozen images to fester. May this entry help you melt them away.
