ADVICE
How You Can Go From Hopeless to Hopeful Romantic
Are you a hopeless romantic? You view love through rose-colored glasses, romanticizing all things that involve matters of the heart. Storybook endings are what you live for.
Tell me, how has it been going for you?
Don’t get me wrong; there’s nothing wrong with looking at love through a hopelessly romantic lens. However, it might be doing you more harm than good.
Your optimistic perception of love and relationships may lead you to ignore red flags or tolerate unhealthy behaviors. You might even tend to prioritize your partner’s needs over your own.
So, how about opening yourself up to a new perspective where you don’t idealize everything?
Say hello to being a hopeful romantic and channel all your feelings while setting yourself up for more grounded relationships.
What Does This Balancing Act Mean?
In a Bustle piece, author and psychologist Krystal White says that hopeless and hopeful romantics are not much different.
Both fall for people quite quickly. They also feel optimistic about love and are happy with the little things as they are with huge gestures.
However, a hopeful romantic sets realistic expectations and doesn’t set themselves up for disappointment. They’re not scared of the future after the honeymoon stage. They don’t wait for fate to do the work for them. Instead, they take most matters into their own hands.
They have no time for drama or theatrics. Whatever roadblock they encounter, they take it on the chin.
Most importantly, they never settle for less. They know what they deserve, and they won’t sell themselves short. Good communication is something they thrive on.
How Can You Be Hopeful and Romantic at the Same Time?
#1: Avoid comparisons
As cliche as this sounds, comparison is the thief of joy. It’s tempting to mimic everyone else’s relationships. However, trust me when I say you and your partner are better off doing your thing.
#2: Brace yourself for the changes
Much like most things, relationships go through changes. The post-honeymoon stage differs from your beginnings because infatuation no longer clouds your decisions. If you want to progress, find happiness in things other than the butterflies in your stomach.
#3: Have faith in yourself as a partner
The perfect partner doesn’t exist. And with that, don’t overexert yourself into building the perfect relationship — it doesn’t exist either.
Instead, focus on being a great partner to your significant other and acknowledge their role in your relationship. It’s a lot more manageable than going after things beyond your control.
#4: Do the work
Love isn’t all fun and games. Even great compatibility isn’t enough to steer the wheel. You and your partner should put in the work (communication and all the other little things) to keep your relationship alive and kicking.
#5: Keep your head out of the clouds
There’s no harm in daydreaming about storybook romances, but the thing is, they’re fictional. Relationships can be messy sometimes, so adjust your expectations to avoid disappointment.
Just Because You’re in Love Doesn’t Mean You Should Be Hopeless
There’s no reason to adopt a black-and-white view of love like how novels portray it.
Love isn’t hopeless. So, open your heart to possibilities while firmly planting your feet on the ground — this is what being a hopeful romantic is all about.
Reference
Fellizar, Kristine. 2019. “7 Ways To Tell If You’re A Hopeful Romantic Vs. A Hopeless Romantic.” Bustle. https://www.bustle.com/wellness/things-that-happen-when-youre-a-hopeful-romantic-vs-a-hopeless-romantic.
