ADVICE
The Importance of Personal Space in Relationships
Relationships are undeniably magical. The bliss can compel you to spend almost every waking moment with your partner. That’s why some couples can easily get lost in the intensity of their feelings.
Even if you’re committed and in love, you shouldn’t neglect your need for personal space in relationships. Meeting this necessity may sound complicated — but it’s not.
Why Is Personal Space Important for Couples?
Space is often a misunderstood concept in relationships. When a partner tells the other that they need space, it is usually interpreted as a sign of a looming breakup. While the fear is understandable, wanting space doesn’t necessarily mean you are thinking about ending things.
Personal space has nothing to do with ending relationships. Rather, it means you are listening to your needs as an individual. We can only give so much of ourselves in a relationship that we may start to lose our sense of self.
Keeping a healthy amount of space from our partners allows us to recover and maintain our sense of individuality. Alone time gives us time to focus on our needs and wants. In turn, this clarity helps us avoid making poor relationship decisions that may negatively affect our dynamics with our partner.
How Much Space Is Normal in a Relationship?
Personal space isn’t quantifiable, so there’s no exact amount that will satisfy this question. The need for space depends on various factors, like specific locations and distances.
For example, if you live together with your partner, you are going to need a little more space simply because you spend most of your time with each other. Long-distance couples usually don’t have this issue because of the physical separation.
Do you need some space for your pursuits? Own up to that and let your partner know. Use “I” statements to make your point clear without being accusatory. This also encourages supportive dialogue.
If you want to know how much personal space your partner needs, you can always ask them. Your initiative will encourage them to open up and be honest. Be supportive and ensure you’ll give them their space without much intervention unless necessary.
Giving personal space is mutually beneficial. Not only will this distance help them, but it’ll aid in your growth, too.
How to Establish Personal Space in a Relationship
If you don’t know where to start, take these tried and tested tips into consideration:
#1: Check yourself
Do you have passions that you’ve put aside for your relationship? Do you have anything to cross off your personal bucket list before reaching a specific age? Take time for some necessary self-assessment and plot your personal calendar.
#2: Don’t feel guilty
Asking for personal space can make some people feel uneasy and guilty. Insecurities may trigger these feelings because they believe they don’t have the right to request it.
If you’re one of those people, please know that it’s totally okay to ask your partner for personal space! You’re in a relationship and not a contract. Everyone is entitled to enjoy alone time whenever they wish. Looking out for yourself isn’t selfish.
#3: Alone time doesn’t equate to loneliness
“Me” time doesn’t always have to be spent by yourself. Take that opportunity to catch up with people, especially loved ones. For example, when a friend who lives in a different city is in town, take time to hang out with them and reconnect.
#4: Don’t use personal space as a defense mechanism
Personal space only becomes a red flag when it’s used as a shield from your feelings. If you or your partner find yourselves seeking distance to withdraw yourselves from each other, there may be a problem.
Personal space in relationships is healthier than you think. You and your partner don’t need to be around each other all the time because you have other things occupying both of your lives. You’ll thank yourselves for giving each other some space.
Other related read
