REALITIES

Is Monogamy Dead? Fortunately, The Answer Is No

Shayma Popova
3 min readApr 24, 2024
Couple walking on dunes
Photo by Nate Johnston on Unsplash

The idea of soulmates has existed since Ancient Greek times. Even the great Plato described the magic of the concept in his Symposium. Today, many of us still believe in finding “The One” through a monogamous route.

But as time passes, some folks — especially the younger generations — question how realistic it is. A 2020 census even revealed that 38% of its Gen Z participants felt that polyamorous relationships would better suit their intimacy needs.

Modern dating has introduced many daters to setups steering away from traditional monogamous arrangements. Concepts like ethical non-monogamy and open relationships have surfaced, and some even practice them.

With all that said, here’s a question: is monogamy dead?

What Does Monogamy Really Mean?

Per the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, monogamy is the “state or custom of being married to only one person at a time.” People often use the term “exclusive” to describe such an arrangement. Monogamous relationships can either be physical or emotional. More often than not, it’s both.

Modern monogamy works similarly, but there’s a difference standing out. Couples practicing it prefer exclusivity, but they know relationships aren’t always permanent. They may like spending the rest of their lives with one partner, but they’ve let go of that.

If you’re currently in a monogamous relationship, make the most out of it by expanding on what you have. This means reflecting on and talking about your stances on monogamy. What are you intrigued by? Do you want to do something new with your partner?

Why Is Monogamy Becoming Unpopular for Some?

Monogamy may be ideal, but it isn’t for everyone. Some have valid gripes against that convention for many reasons. Below are some of the most common ones you’ll hear:

#1: Wrong impressions

We naturally shape our perspectives through observations. In the case of monogamy, some use secondhand accounts as their sole basis. Witnessing failed marriages, for example, can be enough for someone to see monogamous unions in a poor light.

#2: Unrealistic expectations

Is monogamy realistic? For some people, the answer is no. They don’t see how one person can tick every single one of their boxes, from physical to emotional needs. And with that, they find such expectations exhausting.

#3: Romanticized thoughts of love and marriage

There are things we get wrong about being in love. It may seem shiny and magical, but trust me: it’s not all glitter and rainbows.

This outlook isn’t wrong — love matters, but it isn’t the only thing that does. Going into monogamy thinking love is the be-all and end-all is a disaster waiting to happen.

#4: Constraints

For some people, monogamy is a constraining construct. Its traditional structure adds pressure for these folks because they feel like they’re forced to follow something they’re unfamiliar or uncomfortable with. They have their preferences, and they believe monogamy doesn’t align with them.

Don’t Lose Hope

The current discourse on monogamy may sound dreadful, but all isn’t lost. The philosophy isn’t an issue here. Who wouldn’t want to have a constant who’ll stick with them through thick and thin?

So to answer the question: Is monogamy dead? I strongly believe it isn’t. Everyone has their cup of tea, and exclusivity is something many of us prefer. It may no longer be the sole concept of marriage, but knowing that there are still many people who believe in the idea of monogamous relationships, ensures the practice won’t die anytime soon.

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Shayma Popova
Shayma Popova

Written by Shayma Popova

I write truths about dating and relationships as a Content Manager for https://odessawomen.com/

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