ADVICE
Removing Excess Baggage: Letting Go of Toxic Relationships
Love can only do so much for your happiness. What happens if the well is poisoned to the point of no return?
Some relationships can come back from that pit. Others, unfortunately, don’t share the same fate. In cases like these, they’ve gotten so bad that one or both parties want to leave and call it quits.
Letting go of toxic relationships isn’t as easy as some people make it out to be. Walking away is more than just breaking up and expecting things to turn out alright. There’s a lot that goes into leaving, and it’s not always pretty.
How does one get rid of that excess baggage?
What Makes a Relationship Toxic?
Identifying toxic relationships can be tricky because they often look deceivingly healthy. And sadly, that facade can fool many of us into staying, even to the point of complacency.
Every toxic relationship has different causes, but most operate the same. They may seem like love on the surface, but in reality, they’re not.
These are among the most common red flags that determine if you’re in a toxic relationship:
Hostility
If you’re looking for a defining trait, this one is arguably a highlight.
Unhealthy communication dominates toxic relationships. One person is often the aggressor, while the other remains passive. In worse cases, both parties are aggressive toward each other. If not, they adopt a passive-aggressive demeanor and irritate one another to no end.
Constant fatigue and stress
Does your relationship often drain and stress you out? If so, take it as a warning.
You know things are going sideways when your mental health starts suffering because of your partner. Your relationship could be an imbalanced give-and-take dynamic, or maybe you’re too tired from trying to “fix” the irreparable.
Controlling tendencies
Controlling behavior manifests in different ways. One minute, your partner constantly demands information on your whereabouts. If not, they always throw a fit when you’re hanging out with other people — even with your closest friends.
Toxic relationships are what they are in part because of this possessive behavior. That’s not real love — it’s a show of power.
Chronic lying
This doesn’t cover the occasional white lies we tell. Chronic lying refers to the consistent dishonesty one has.
In the case of relationships, this frequency is enough of a red flag. Your or your partner lying your way out of things should ring alarm bells because you can’t trust each other enough to be honest.
Leaving a Toxic Relationship
If you want to let go of a toxic relationship, take these steps to get out intact:
Step 1: Don’t make excuses
No matter who the perpetrator is, toxicity isn’t justifiable and there’s no use in holding on. No defense can excuse unhealthy behavior. The sooner you realize this, the stronger your resolve will be.
Step 2: Prepare a safe exit
As much as some of us want to wait, we shouldn’t bank on that for change. The best course of action is to prepare a graceful goodbye. You’ll need to plan your exit, from what you’ll bring and where you’ll stay.
Step 3: Cut off contact
Cutting off your toxic partner means you’re no longer looking back. This shows them that they have no more room in your life anymore. While you’re at it, avoid stalking any of their social media. Otherwise you’ll find yourself back to square one with them.
Step 4: Reach out for help
Recovering from toxic relationships is just as taxing as leaving them. Lean on loved ones for comfort because you could use a lot of their healthy love and support. If you feel professional help is necessary, seek a therapist for guidance and assistance.
Love Yourself By Letting Go
Letting go of toxic relationships may not always be a straightforward process, but it’s for the best. Getting rid of excess baggage can make your life easier, and not to mention, paves the way for new and healthier relationships. So if you love yourself, go on and let go of that toxicity. You’ll thank yourself later for finally making that decision.
Letting go means you’re finally choosing yourself. You don’t deserve to be bogged down by toxicity.
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