ROMANCE
Newsflash: Being In Your “Lover Era” Is Cool Again
Wanting relationships (and love in general) seemed embarrassing for a while. For some, it’s a cliche with a long-overdue death. For others, their desires feel like guilty pleasures best kept hidden.
Fortunately, not all of us are cynics. Falling in love isn’t the weakness some people make it out to be. There’s power in romance — as much as some of us hate to admit. Yes, independent/I-don’t-need-anyone/lone wolf types are strong, but they can get pretty lonely.
Some may think falling in love with someone means giving up their autonomy. The truth is, you don’t have to! You can have both because partners don’t need you to sacrifice independence.
So yes, being in your “lover era” hasn’t gone out of style.
What Is This Era Anyway?
No, this era doesn’t refer to the Taylor Swift album of the same name (although somewhat inspired by it). This stage simply means embracing romance and its optimism despite acknowledging potential heartbreak. You may have been hurt before, yet your heart remains open.
As the introduction suggests, this era hasn’t always been well-embraced. Many people had negative sentiments, some more spiteful than others. One podcast even suggested daters to “cheat or be cheated on” as a shield from potential heartbreak.
If you think that’s controversial, that’s because it is.
Fast forward to today and many no longer feel embarrassed about falling head over heels. At the same time, more and more people have adopted a softer and refreshing approach to life. And it’s a good thing! The world isn’t out to get us, so why not enjoy things?
Pop culture has helped this era’s popularity as well. As more public figures revel in their romances unabashedly, people are more encouraged to unleash their hidden romantic sides.
Why The Embarrassment?
Have you wondered why some seem ashamed (or worse, repulsed) of loving someone? If you’re looking for answers, these reasons will give you some insight:
#1: Love leaves people vulnerable.
Some of us have put up shields/walls as defense mechanisms. These barriers shut people out, preventing potential heartbreaks (albeit in an unhealthy way). Opening up means tearing those defenses down to let people in. Once they allow themselves to be vulnerable, they believe they’ll appear weak.
#2: Painful experiences may resurface.
For some people, even the smallest crumb of affection is enough to trigger painful flashbacks. They’d rather keep those memories locked away than re-live their pain, hence why they avoid getting attached. As much as they want to connect with someone great, they prefer sticking to self-preservation.
#3: Some may feel lost.
If you’ve been heartbroken, you may feel torn about accepting (or even giving) love. Any optimistic view of you as a person confuses you because you’re used to pain and pessimism. You fear any attraction towards you will disrupt you, making you feel lost and clueless.
Love Is Beautiful, So Why Be Ashamed?
Your “lover era” may not be cool or sexy. However, you can’t deny there’s something beautiful about falling in love and embracing it — especially if it’s reciprocated.
Embracing the era doesn’t mean dropping everything in your life and wearing blinders. Openly wanting someone may seem scary, but it’s better than lying to yourself. So, go ahead — open your heart.
