Men Dating: How to Survive the Cuffing Season

And tips and tricks to not be overwhelmed by winter blues.

As a single man living peacefully in the Western hemisphere, you may have only one dilemma this time of the year. That unbearable need for excess body heat of having someone curled up in your arms.

Gentlemen, the cuffing season has already begun.

What exactly is cuffing season?

In simple words, cuffing season is when a single has the heightened desire to pair up with someone, “romantic styles.” There’s the crushing loneliness and the existential dread that consumes them and often lead to impulsive and precarious behavior.

When this happens, single men usually get attached to anyone they are linking with at the moment to make up for their loneliness. It is a way to keep them “warm” in this cold season. Experts even call it a social phenomenon. Big word, right?

Why does cuffing season exist?

People who go through cuffing season have different agendas. It is not the same for everyone, though some experts may have pointed out specific reasons why.

Mental health

Seasonal depression is a thing and it might be more serious than you think. According to Mental Health America, about 5% of people experience seasonal depression each year. Psychologist Dr. Susan Albers says, “Dark, cold nights can trigger an intense feeling of loneliness and a drop in serotonin.”

Even though reports have shown that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is more likely to be diagnosed among women, we can’t rely on that as men usually don’t really show it when they are sad or depressed. They are more likely to distract themselves with other activities or just shrug it off.

According to a 2019 Dating.com survey, 60% of participants who were lonely in the fall and winter used dating apps as a temporary fix.

Peer pressure and family expectations

We all know that the Christmas holidays often mean family gatherings and friendly meet-ups all month long. If you’re single and alone, most often than not, you will also be put on a hot seat in regard to your love life.

They will be asking a lot of questions if you’re already dating or if you’re going to bring someone over to family dinner. The pressure can be too much sometimes and maybe you’ll give in and just look for someone as a scapegoat for those burning questions.

Take the Netflix movie “Holidate” for example. Both the male and female protagonists received judgment from their family and friends for being alone even during the holiday season that the two have come up with an arrangement to be each other’s plus-ones on all family occasions, which later on bloomed to catching real feelings along the way.

Romantic, I know, but you might not have the same luck if you’re going to try this love game.

Is “cuffing” really set to fail?

In the sense that cuffing is a seasonal thing and might be considered something temporary, some people consider cuffing as just a game to play with your heart at stake. With the idea of temporary relief, there’s a high chance that you would pursue a woman that is not typically your type.

It can be a way towards instant gratification that has no way of forming into real and genuine connection with a person. Other than the uncertainty of it, here are some of the downsides of diving into this dating trend:

• Either one or both of you will get attached and get hurt in the end.
• It instills the idea of a temporary fix to loneliness but might cause more trouble than it’s worth.
• You might just get disappointed in the end.
• Men who indulge in temporary relationships might develop the wrong mindset and attitude toward dating.
• It might drain your mental and emotional bandwidth in the end, thus, affecting your life in general.

What can you do to survive the cuffing season trend?

If you would still want to give it a go, then I am here to tell you that you are not alone. In fact, the number of dating app users still continues to grow over the years.

I guess, so long as you’re honest with the other person, there is nothing wrong with purposefully starting a short-term relationship. We are all aware of how problems may arise when one person enters a relationship with different goals but does not express them.

Here are some strategies for you to follow through for dating during cuffing season:

Be honest with what you want in the relationship.

You can start by being honest with yourself about your own needs and desires. Many of us believe that it is our greatest need to have a love companion. It makes sense. Considering the dating game favors females, you, as a man, may have thought that you need to force things in order for you to land a woman. Take the time to ask yourself, ‘What am I looking for?,’ before you seek it somewhere else.

Make sure you define the terms of your relationship.

This will help in setting boundaries and proper expectations in your relationship. Have a conversation early on about what you are looking for and then also put into consideration your partner’s needs. Don’t overdo making plans with the other party involved if you have no intentions of pushing through it.

Focus on enjoying the holidays by yourself.

Try to make yourself comfortable in being single during the cold weather. Indulge in a hobby, have fun with winter activities, or just spend time with friends and family. Whatever rows your boat, just make sure you use your time wisely instead of exerting time and effort in a relationship you are not even sure if you want to last or not. Invest in yourself.

The choice is yours…

The cuffing season is not merely a fad in dating. It may lead to grief and disappointment for you and turn into a very destructive habit. You could get what you want in the short term when you force and settle for someone you’re not truly interested in, but it will never lead to something more meaningful. As a result, you feel a great deal of stress and will have less room for your own well-being.

As human as we are, we don’t want to be alone — and you don’t have to be. However, you need to stop thinking that relationships are patchwork to cover up the emptiness and loneliness inside of you. Instead, focus on yourself and on building a genuine and real connection with others.