DATING

Make Modern Dating More Than Just a Numbers Game

Shayma Popova
3 min readDec 15, 2023
Couple holding hands while basking in the sun
ating is a winnable numbers game if you play it right. | Photo by Redd F on Unsplash

For many singles, dating apps (and online dating in general) are among technology’s best gifts to mankind. Why look for love offline when all you need to move are your fingertips, yes?

Clicks and swipes are convenient. But as with everything else, they come with downsides too. Since countless singles are online, navigating the scene feels like exploring a never-ending maze. Where do you start? Who do you approach? How will you make your move?

Modern dating may seem like a numbers game entirely. You have limitless options, after all. However, you don’t need to play it that way.

More often than not, quality always wins out over quantity. Dating is supposed to be fun, so why make yourself miserable? Keep things fun and romantic with these no-nonsense pointers:

1. Don’t stop at one medium.

There’s no need to limit yourself to one dating platform.

Let’s say you’re a chronic online dater because you can’t be bothered to physically meet people. Why go through the trouble of meetups when love is at the palm of your hand?

However, relying solely on apps and sites can burn you out. Endless scrolling and swiping can take a toll on you, especially if constant disappointments happen.

Expand your horizons by trying your luck offline. You may just end up meeting your soulmate at a random meet-cute.

2. Be choosy. You have the right to be.

There’s a difference between being specific and being too nitpicky. Sure, you should keep your options open while navigating the dating scene. Being choosy may sound counterintuitive, but it isn’t.

Being selective doesn’t mean boxing yourself into specifics. Instead, you’re prioritizing your wants and needs, and you aren’t settling for less.

When someone calls you choosy, don’t take it personally. Having standards isn’t a bad thing, so don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise.

3. Your phone isn’t your third wheel.

Awkward silence is inevitable, especially on first dates. However, don’t use that as an excuse to play with your phone. What’s the use of connecting with someone if you’re just going to stare at your phone screen the whole time?

Put your phone down and enjoy moments as they happen. Focus your energy on conversations, which make dates more interesting than usual. You’ll notice the awkwardness fade out as you and your match end up talking longer than expected.

Add a fun spin to your meetup by playing a no-phone game. The first person to break this gets a silly punishment, such as buying dessert.

4. Have a chemistry test before meeting up.

Why not go on a video chat? This will give you a preview before in-person interactions. It’s better to be safe than sorry!

If they hesitate or reject, you may want to take that as a red flag. Online personas can be deceiving, and the person on the other end may turn out to be a scammer. You can never be too careful, especially in the age of the internet.

5. Go slow, but don’t linger.

You don’t want to rush things with a potential match. However, don’t just sit there and wait for magic to happen. If you feel something special brewing, take (careful) action. You don’t want that person to be the one that slipped through your fingers.

Dating isn’t just a numbers game. Play your cards right and turn the tides in your favor by prioritizing sincerity over collection. The tips above should help you navigate the scene with confidence.

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Shayma Popova
Shayma Popova

Written by Shayma Popova

I write truths about dating and relationships as a Content Manager for https://odessawomen.com/

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