RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
Here’s How You Should Approach Money Talks in Relationships
Few things are as complicated as money talks in relationships. Money is a pretty touchy (and unsexy) subject, so it’s no surprise that many couples find it intimidating. You may feel a pit forming in your stomach just from the thought of it.
But as with many difficult conversations, this one is inevitable. But the question is, how should you get this part out of the way?
Why Is Money Difficult to Talk About?
It’s 2024, but money remains a taboo topic for some. Why the discomfort?
#1: Shame
Each of us has different experiences with money. For some, they’re not so good. These people prefer to keep their finances hush-hush because they, understandably, don’t want to admit their challenges in that department.
#2: Habits
Habits, especially financial ones, are hard to break. Why? We’ve been practicing them from a young age.
A Cambridge University study revealed that children learn about money at three years old. The same research also found that their feelings and attitudes toward it start to form at seven years old.
#3: Culture, upbringing, and beliefs
Some countries view money more sensitively than others. Many people grow up believing it to be a taboo subject. Like habits, unlearning beliefs can be hard because they’ve been ingrained at an early age.
When Should Money Talks Happen?
There’s no hard-and-fast rule when it comes to timing. After all, relationships move at different speeds. One couple may be celebrating a significant milestone, while another is just starting to blossom.
However, it’s best to have this conversation as soon as possible. No, I don’t suggest you do it after your first couple of dates. Try broaching the subject a few months into your relationship.
Share your financial goals while asking about your partner’s plans. Initiating may lead them to open up freely. Make sure to use open-ended questions for more substantial answers.
How to Talk to Your Partner About Money
Now that you know the timing, how should you approach the topic? Here are some steps to get the ball rolling:
#1: Practice transparency at all times.
Financial infidelity exists. You don’t have to share every detail about your financial health, but you shouldn’t also hide relevant information.
Sharing your financial matters seems intimidating, but it’s the first step to getting this conversation going. Honest discussions will lead to more trust.
#2: Respect your differences.
You won’t always see eye-to-eye on money, and that’s fine. Don’t take your different perspectives against each other. Instead, work around them and make compromises.
#3: Make financial discussions a habit.
Don’t stop at one discussion. Continue to keep your finances in check. You can make it a weekly or monthly routine, depending on your and your partner’s availability and preferences.
#4: Celebrate your wins.
Your financial conversations shouldn’t always be about problems. You can rejoice in your victories, too! There’s no harm in enjoying wins, regardless of whether they’re big or small.
Money talks in relationships aren’t easy, but they don’t have to be brutal. I hope this entry pushes you to kickstart that discussion.
