PSYCHOLOGY
Is Mr. Nice Guy as Nice as He Says He is? Beware of “Nice” Guys
Most of us have been told that nice guys finish last. In simpler terms, this means kind-hearted gentlemen tend to get overlooked, especially in the game of love. If you were to believe stereotypical portrayals of women, they usually fall for the brooding bad boys.
Stereotypes aside, many women do like nice guys. However, looks can be deceiving. Sometimes, the nicest person you meet turns out to be disguising themselves for their benefit.
So, when Mr. Nice Guy comes around and tries to win a woman, don’t jump the gun just yet. Yes, give him the benefit of the doubt. But at the same time, it never hurts to be extra careful. What if he’s a player looking for a good time?
What Exactly Is a “Nice” Guy?
Say you’ve come across a well-meaning gentleman. But before you start checking him out, ask yourself if he’s what he appears to be.
A “nice” guy always beats around the bush. He never says what he wants to someone’s face because, more often than not, they have something to hide. He tries hard to dodge rejections because he can’t take the sting. And lastly, he only gives when he wants something.
“Nice” Guys vs. Good Men
Most of us think being nice and kind are the same. The truth is, the two are different. Let’s make several comparisons to distinguish them.
“Nice” Guys
#1: Unsolicited assistance for attention
The knight in shining armor trope is strong with this one. The caveat here, though, is the lack of nobility. Nice guys offer help (even without being asked). However, they lend their assistance because they want to get noticed. Does this sound manipulative? Absolutely.
#2: Lack of boundaries
They’ll do anything and everything to please women, even if it stresses them out. It’s as if they’re doormats waiting for people to walk all over them.
#3: Predictable behavior
Nice guys can be read easily. Why? Look at their tendencies. They often use the same tactics on different women, hoping that at least one will take the bait.
#4: People-pleasing tendencies
You know something’s up when they won’t turn down any request, no matter how uncomfortable they feel.
#5: Passive-aggressiveness
No one likes bluffs and distractions. For nice guys, it’s all about walking on eggshells. They’d rather say or do things indirectly instead of getting their point across straightforwardly.
Good Men
#1: Self-worth
Like most of us, good men appreciate compliments from time to time. However, they don’t let them get to their heads. They know what they’re worth and don’t let outside noise change them.
#2: Straightforwardness
If “nice” guys beat around the bush, good men prefer directness. They don’t see the point in walking on eggshells because they believe it’s a waste of time.
#3: Genuine intentions
A good man pursues a woman simply because he likes her. They don’t have hidden agendas to fulfill.
#4: Takes rejection on the chin
Rejections suck. However, good men know they’re inevitable human experiences. And with that, they won’t act out of spite when a woman turns them down.
#5: Realistic view of love
Love isn’t a miraculous cure for problems. Partners don’t make insecurities and ugly traits disappear, and good men know this. They know relationships take time, work, and patience.
Don’t let “Mr. Nice Guy” fool you. Unless they don’t skirt around their feelings, their sweetness may just be on the surface. Sometimes if it’s too good to be true, it’s because it is. While nice guys don’t always finish last, you shouldn’t let one get ahead of you for all the wrong reasons.
