Navigating the Modern Dating Scene with Confidence
Finding a partner used to be simple, but dating has changed significantly over the years. In fact, the increasing number of dating sites has changed the dynamic of how we meet people.
While some might say it’s more convenient, others are dubious about how relationships are easily formed.
This is especially true if you have limited free time to meet new people or you’re in a new city or country. Most people prefer to go on a dating app or site since it saves them the embarrassment of talking to a random stranger who may or may not be interested in a relationship.
Suffice to say, modern dating might be the trend these days, but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people are overwhelmed by the unlimited number of options, while others feel like it’s superficial. Some might even prefer meeting people the old-fashioned way.
You’ll likely end up diving into the modern dating scene whether you like it or not. To get you started, here are some helpful tips on how to navigate the culture.
1. Keep your date short.
Don’t let it go on for more than ninety minutes. That’s enough time to get to know someone on a surface level and feel the chemistry, but not long enough that your brain gets carried away with the excitement of a potential partner.
Dinner dates followed by a movie can be fun, but it can also be hard if nothing develops from the date afterward. You’re less likely to burn out and swear off dating if you keep the date short.
2. Avoid talking about the past.
Talking about breakups or past relationships can get heavy, and the first few dates need to be light. Talking about how your date’s past relationships ended or opening up about yours might help you learn more about how you both handle relationships in general, but there’s a right time and place for that.
3. You’re not obliged to send a thank-you text.
Sending a thank-you text is unnecessary as long as you thank your date in person before parting ways. You might risk putting them in a position where they feel obligated to send a specific response, removing any healthy tension on their part of wondering.
If you’re worried that you were far from flirty or were acting awkwardly during the date, you can reassure them that you enjoyed your time with them through text. Just don’t overthink it.
If you show your enthusiasm in person, let them make the next move.
4. Avoid talking about physical intimacy on the first date.
It’s best to figure out your date’s intentions and whether their actions match them, but that can be challenging during the first date. Don’t talk about physical intimacy until you have an idea what their intentions are.
Physical intimacy can make you feel more attached to a person, often leading to disappointment if they don’t share the same goals and ideals as you.
5. Do some of the planning yourself.
It feels nice to let the other person do the planning in setting up the time and place for your date, but don’t hesitate to speak up if you have some suggestions. Your date will appreciate your effort because it’ll take the pressure off their shoulders, making them go on a date less nervous.
If you hate planning, give them multiple options. Likewise, don’t be afraid to make the first move if you want to ask someone out.
6. Don’t argue about who pays the bill.
Men are expected to shoulder the bill, especially if they’re the ones who asked their dates out. Then again, it all comes down to preference. It’s 2022. If you want to pay the bill, then do it. If your date persists on splitting the bill, that’s also up to you. As long as neither of you makes a fuss about it, it shouldn’t be a big deal.
7. Give them time to reach out.
Even if everything turns out great, your date will still have to figure out if you’re compatible with each other before determining what to do next.
If you send them a text after your date, don’t put too much thought into how quickly they respond.
They reserve the right to decide whether they want to meet up with you again or not.
8. Be upfront about wanting a relationship.
If you’re serious about looking for a relationship partner, it doesn’t have to be the first thing you say during your date. There are different ways where you can be subtle about it. If not, you can tell them upfront — as long as you don’t go into detail about it.
9. Take a break.
Modern dating can be exhausting and overwhelming, especially if you always meet people that want a different kind of relationship from what you had in mind. If you notice that you’re starting to get discouraged, take a break and come back when you’re ready.
10. Be yourself.
Dating is about finding someone you’re compatible with, but it can be hard if you’re not honest about yourself during your dates.
It’s good to have your guard up when meeting someone for the first time — long enough to know that you’re not at a disadvantage in case you decide you want out.
The key is finding the right balance. You can be open to them so that they can get to know you, but not so much to the point that you’re making yourself too vulnerable.
Remember, Confidence Is Contagious
You don’t have to be the most confident person in the room. As long as you’re comfortable in your own skin, you don’t have to try so hard to impress other people, even your date.
When you feel comfortable, any sign of tension or nervousness slowly fades away — that’s the first step in having confidence.
A lot of our dating habits have changed, making modern relationships more challenging to handle. But like with everything else in life, the only way we learn how to adapt is through experience. All you have to do is take that first step.
