RELATIONSHIPS
Do You Speak These New Love Languages?
One of my entries talked about words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gift-giving, and acts of service — the five love languages popularized by author Gary Chapman.
I’m sure you’ve encountered these numerous times. You may have identified yours by now. But did you know that there are new love languages? You may want to insert these four additions into your current lineup.
Healthy debating
Admit it — curveballs (the healthy ones, of course) can be a little sexy. A little opposition can be stimulating. Others may not realize it, but they enjoy the contrast.
They like a challenging debate. The discussions stemming from this get their brains and hearts going. Moreover, these conversations make them think outside their comfort zones, adding an extra spark to their burning fires.
This additional spark can turn the tide of relationships for the better, especially early on. Once the lust segment ends, healthy debates keep the wheels turning.
Shared travel or experiences
You may think traveling together with your partner counts as quality time. However, it’s different. Spending quality time means giving undivided attention to your partner. While some parts of travel qualify under this category, it’s so much more.
Going off on an adventure together can make you see each other in a new light. Your shared journey undoubtedly impacts your connection. Why? Unfamiliar settings test you and your partner. And it can result in better or worse, depending on how you navigate various situations.
You’ll know this is your love language when you fall even more in love with each other after your trip. Constant travel isn’t necessary, but an occasional getaway won’t hurt.
Goal-sharing
Is this a novel concept? No. Couples have been sharing goals long before modern dating rose to prominence.
Back then, kids and families were the top priority. Now, modern daters have other objectives. Career and financial stability, for example, are two popular goals many couples have before deciding to have kids.
In relationships, goal-sharing means building toward something you’ve enacted and gaining genuine happiness from that development. This language banks on a couple’s teamwork, so selfishness should be out the door.
Goals can vary from emotional (learning how to express yourselves to each other better, for example) to financial (like saving up for a house of your own). This love language involves bettering each other and feeling satisfied when you’re involved in that.
Emotional security
This last (but definitely not the least among the new love languages) is all about feeling seen on an emotional level. Instead of seeking validation through words of affirmation, people identifying with this language want acceptance from their partners when they tear their walls down.
Achieving emotional security means going beyond surface-level conversations. Both parties should dig deeper, asking and answering the whys. This can be difficult for some, but letting walls down is the only way to get answers.
Do these new love languages make your current ones obsolete? Fortunately, the answer is no.
“We all have one or two prominent love languages,” author and emotional health coach Roxie Nafousi tells Glamour.
Only you know how you want to love and be loved.
Reference
London, Bianca. 2023. “There Are Three New Love Languages We Should Know, According to an Expert.” Glamour. https://www.glamour.com/story/there-are-three-new-love-languages-we-should-know-according-to-an-expert.
