REALITIES
Don’t Worry if the New Relationship Energy Wears Off
Picture this: you’re seeing someone you’ve known for a while. You’ve just started viewing each other in a romantic light after countless hangouts (and a few drinks in between) with mutual friends.
That person has you listening to playlists full of love songs. You even physically hold yourself back to avoid mentioning them to your friends. And when you’re talking to each other, it’s as if no one else exists in that space but you two.
While the other person isn’t doing the same things you’re doing in the above paragraph, they feel just as giddy as you are. It sounds like you’re both radiating new relationship energy.
People often call this energy the “honeymoon” phase, and for good reason. It’s a euphoric stage when almost every moment feels magical and intense. It’s as if nothing is short of thrill and excitement.
Unfortunately, that energy has an inevitable end. It’s a high you eventually come down from. And that descent won’t always be pretty.
However, it doesn’t (and shouldn’t) necessarily signal isn’t the end of your relationship. Love isn’t always about the fireworks, and relationships don’t require much fanfare.
Explaining the Honeymoon Stage
In a podcast, licensed counselor Casey Tanner explains that oxytocin, or the love hormone, causes you to manifest this energy. This hormone occupies your brain whenever you get excited. In the context of this entry, the oxytocin production and release happens because you’re buzzing about your new relationship.
It’s as if it’s soothing our insecurities about ourselves, especially our desirability. Typical stressors, such as unresolved pain, feel like they’ve gone out the window.
Who wouldn’t be elated to have someone’s full attention?
How long does new relationship energy last, you ask? Many say you’ll reach the peak within your first six months together. Some believe it runs well into a full year because some couples prolong the bliss more than others.
What Happens When New Relationship Energy Wears Off?
All good things come to an end. This energy is naturally unsustainable, so every relationship is bound to find itself in this spot.
This loss doesn’t happen quickly. It’s a gradual decrease, with each moment losing intensity as it happens. What was once exciting has now become familiar. You may even start picking up on things you previously left unnoticed, such as flaws. You may also find yourself irritated by your partner’s seemingly harmless quirks.
Since this fallout is inevitable, how should couples deal with it?
One Era Ends, Another One Begins
Are doubts starting to creep in? Does your relationship feel like it’s getting stale?
Before you panic, let me stop you right here. This is a friendly reminder that a breakup isn’t on the horizon. Your love for each other is still there, isn’t it? Why end things when they’re just picking up?
New relationship energy may fade, but that doesn’t mean your love will end. Relationships progress through phases, so think of it as a natural evolution. The next stage may be a jarring reality check, but at least you don’t have to experience it alone.
There’s no predicting how relationships will turn out, but chin up and don’t sweat. You and your partner still have a lot to look forward to together.
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