RELATIONSHIPS
You Don’t See Me: The Pain of a One-Sided Relationship
If someone doesn’t fight to KEEP you,
Never fight yourself to STAY.
Have you ever felt so in love that you don’t see anyone else but your partner? You’re willing to drop anything and everything for them.
The feeling is undoubtedly beautiful. However, it can eventually become too consuming, especially if you’re the only one doing the heavy lifting in the relationship. They can’t even seem to lift a finger for you.
That is, unfortunately, a typical picture of a one-sided relationship.
One-Sided Relationships vs. Unrequited Love
Many people unknowingly believe the two concepts are the same, interchanging them for one another. The truth is that the two are quite different.
In one-sided relationships, while the feeling can be mutual, only one of the couple puts in the effort and time. This imbalance is not only exhausting but heartbreaking as well.
The extra pain comes from the fact that partners usually have mutual obligations and shared plans, bringing in extra stakes. What’s good about being together if only one person is pulling their weight?
On the other hand, unrequited love is a different ballpark. Going by its name, it’s all about having feelings for someone who, unfortunately, doesn’t feel the same way. The object of affection may or may not be aware of their admirers.
What Causes One-Sided Relationships?
One-sided relationships have various triggers. Below are several common reasons, with some being a bit more malicious than others.
1. Clashing communication styles
In an ideal world, all of us grew up learning open and healthy communication. Unfortunately, the reality is not everyone is given that luxury.
Opposing communication styles can create holes that may be impossible to climb out of. If couples can’t find a way around these communication gaps, their chances of resolving issues are slim to none.
2. Conflicting expectations
When properly set, expectations can help create direction in relationships. But what if both parties have clashing and unrealistic ones? It wouldn’t be fair if one doesn’t meet the other halfway and expect things to be okay.
3. Past experiences
No one likes getting burned by the same flame twice. And with that said, some may no longer put as much effort into their relationships as they previously did out of fear. They tend to limit their feelings, fearing the same outcome as their previous experiences.
4. Selfishness
Of all the reasons listed here, this one may be the most popular. Self-centered people tend to stick to the bare minimum because they don’t believe they should go beyond their expectations. They only have their own interest in mind. As long as the other serves their interest, they could care less about putting in effort into the relationship.
5. Growing disinterest
As sad as it is, some no longer give their 100% in their relationships because they’ve grown apart. The more you ramp up your efforts, the more they pull away. It’s as if they’re begging you to end things.
The Telltale Signs
Is your partner drifting farther and farther away? They may be waving the white flag through these warnings:
Excuses and justifications
You constantly make excuses for your partner’s underwhelming efforts despite knowing the truth.
Confusion
Their apathy is depriving you of the security you need from them. You’re left doubting yourself, wondering where your relationship is going and where you stand in their life.
Lack of accountability
Rarely does your partner ever say sorry after hurting you. You’re always the one to apologize and try to fix things, even if you’re not the one at fault.
A one-sided relationship can be resolved, but it’ll take a lot of work — especially on your partner’s end. You can’t overcompensate for them forever, because sooner or later you’re bound to get tired of pulling all the weight.
