DATING ADVICE
Catch These Red Flags Before Moving In Together
A home is a personal space that allows you to be your most vulnerable self without inhibitions. This is why moving together with a significant other is a major relationship milestone.
Sharing a home is both exciting and terrifying. You gain extra quality time with your partner, but you also open yourself up to a host of previously unknown issues. Who knows what your partner will be like over time as you live under one roof?
And with that, it’s best if you catch possible red flags before moving in together so you can avoid potential problems before you actually cohabitate.
Just what are these possible problems?
Don’t Ignore These Pre-Move Red Flags
Consider this mini-checklist before looking for a shared space.
1. Clashing lifestyles
Do couples need to have similar lifestyles? Not necessarily. However, problems may arise if your lifestyles have fundamental differences. Such differences may include opposing work shifts, eating time preferences, and dietary choices.
Here’s an example: one of you has a typical nine-to-five schedule, while the other works late at night. You rarely see each other at home, making you wonder if moving in was actually a good choice.
Avoid friction by discussing and recognizing your differences. This transparency paves the way for healthy compromises.
2. Financial disparities
Money isn’t a pretty subject. Many couples often argue over it because it’s essential for survival and sustenance.
Before you and your partner move in together, make sure you‘ve had an honest discussion about your financial situation. Are you ready to split bills on rent and other utilities? Do you mind if one contributes more than the other?
These kinds of discussions can be uncomfortable, but they are certainly necessary. Finances are a sensitive topic because they tell a lot about a person’s biases and traits. For some people, even the thought of their partner earning more than them can make them feel uneasy and inferior if they’re living under one roof.
3. Communication issues
The importance of communication can’t be reiterated enough. There’s a reason every relationship expert emphasizes it.
Are you the type to bottle up your feelings until you explode? Or does your partner avoid their emotions? Whatever your circumstance is, don’t allow your communication issues to remain unaddressed until your relationship reaches a breaking point.
Get any potential communication problems out of the way by using “I” statements. They can help get your concerns, feelings, and needs across without blaming others.
4. Pressure
Do you feel pressured about living together? Do you have any hesitations and reservations? If one (or both) apply to you, there may be a problem.
Being pressured to cohabitate is among the most common red flags before moving in together. It won’t do if one party feels forced into an uncomfortable situation, especially a significant milestone such as sharing a space. Both of you should set proper and realistic expectations to take unnecessary pressure off your move.
5. Untidiness and lack of hygiene
One of the biggest red flags in a guy or woman is poor hygiene. You don’t need to be 100% germ-free, but you should at least have a semblance of tidiness.
Cleanliness varies, depending on people’s comfort levels. Some can live with a little clutter, while others need spic and span spaces.
If you and your partner are going to live together, you’ll need to go over your hygiene and cleaning habits. You’ll be sharing a space, after all. Don’t let a pile of messy dishes be the start of a rocky relationship.
6. Unwillingness to take on responsibilities
Sharing a space means dividing responsibilities equally. It’s not fair if only one person does most of the work, while the other takes on a lighter load. Cohabitating couples should have a fair division of labor, or risk fracturing their partnership.
7. Breach of space and boundaries
Cohabitation may set your relationship up for violations of personal space and boundaries. Since you’ll be spending most of your time together, don’t be surprised if one of you gets annoyed from time to time about diminished privacy.
Avoid crossing each other’s lines by keeping your boundaries firm. This assertiveness encourages respect for your needs.
Knowing the possible red flags before moving in together is the first step to successful cohabitation. Let this “moving-in together” checklist guide you in catching potential problems early on. You’ll thank yourselves for the added introspection.
