Dating Tips
Relationship Check-in Questions to Ask Each Other
Sometimes, we can’t help but pause and think about the state of our relationships. Whether you’re going through good, bad, or ugly times, moments of introspection pop up here and there.
This especially happens when you cross huge relationship milestones. Examples of these include cohabitation, engagement, and marriage. Since these events mark significant changes, some growing pains are bound to happen.
And with that, you and your partner should regularly check in on each other. It won’t hurt to know how you’re doing, yes?
This is where relationship check-in questions come in. Keep your relationship healthy and happy by asking (and answering) these inquiries.
Keeping Tabs on Each Other
A relationship check-in is exactly what it says. It’s a practice where you and your partner discuss matters relevant to your relationship (finances, shared responsibilities, etc.). The end goal is to be on the same page for a sounder and stronger relationship.
The best part about these check-ins is that you make your own rules. You choose the subjects, formulate solutions, and control how you conduct the conversations.
Will those discussions be pretty? No. Sometimes, honesty can be a hard pill to swallow, so some tension shouldn’t be surprising. But even if they can get ugly, they’re nonetheless necessary.
Why Make Relationship Check-Ins a Habit?
These check-ins should be a staple in your routine.
One, they encourage and strengthen communication. This is especially helpful if you have issues in this department. These discussions will leave you and your partner with no choice but to open up and say what’s on your minds.
Two, they normalize transparency and accountability. No, this doesn’t mean keeping score of mistakes. Instead, these conversations become great avenues for addressing issues without playing the blame game.
And three, they make relationships feel safer and more secure. Habitual check-ins make them feel less of a threat and more organic. You can talk about complex subjects and struggles without breaking down and feeling threatened.
How to Check In on Your Relationship
If you don’t know where to start, these tips should help you get the hang of it:
Get your partner warmed up to the idea.
Not everyone will be immediately on board with the concept. Some people aren’t direct, and others view check-ins negatively. Sharing the benefits (see above) may convince them.
Set a convenient time.
Don’t rush your discussions. Schedule them at a time when both parties are free without any commitments.
Keep distractions at bay.
Put the phones down and focus on each other. The internet can wait. Your relationship can’t.
List the subjects you want to address.
Sometimes, couples don’t know where to begin with their discussions. Making and keeping a list helps because you won’t miss out on anything.
Ask These Important Questions
Start checking in on your relationship by getting answers to these:
#1: “What’s on your plate this week?”
Couples sometimes have contrasting schedules. Timely timeline updates (see what I did there?) allow for proper planning and minimize unpleasant surprises.
#2: “What do you love about the relationship?”
What’s not to like about love?
While the question may be simple, couples can easily forget their answers because of modern living’s fast pace.
Taking the optimistic route not only reminds you of what you have but also gives you a clue on how to approach relationship growth.
#3: “How’s our finances going?”
Money’s not a sexy subject, but you should talk about it, especially if you have shared financial responsibilities. Pay your bills on time and keep utilities running uninterrupted by touching base with your finances.
#4: “Are there issues we should address?”
Since time is on your side here, take the opportunity to discuss and resolve current problems. Check-ins prevent screaming matches because you’re allowed to breathe and contemplate.
Relationship check-in questions shouldn’t be as difficult to ask as people make them out to be. And trust me — you’ll thank yourselves for bringing them up.
