ADVICE
Follow These Rules of the Talking Stage for Better Odds
It’s 2:00 a.m., and you’re wide awake. Your phone lights up as a message pops in from a specific someone. You spend hours replying to each other. Next thing you know, the sun has already risen.
Sound familiar? That’s because that’s usually the beginning of any romantic journey — aptly called the Talking Stage. Most of the “fun” happens virtually, with people glued to their phones eagerly awaiting the other person’s next reply.
As fun as this stage sounds, there’s a reason some people dread it. Why? It feels like you’re in limbo. Even though you’re not officially dating, the vibes feel all too like a serious relationship.
Since I already shared its definition, this entry will focus on the (unofficial) rules of the talking stage. Consider taking a few notes as you read on.
A Guide to The Talking Stage
There aren’t hard and fast rules for daters in the talking stage. After all, everyone has different circumstances. However, many agree that some common-sense pointers are necessary.
As complicated as the talking stage is, it isn’t an impossible science experiment. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this tricky phase.
#1: Slow your roll!
Don’t move fast. Why rush? The vibes may be great, but you aren’t official yet. You’re still getting to know each other, so take your sweet time. You may miss out on important details if you try to speed things up. You’ll appreciate moments better when you go slow and steady.
#2: Temper your expectations.
Before getting your head in the clouds, here’s a friendly reminder: keep your expectations realistic. You’ll only be disappointed if you make yours sky-high. Expecting timely replies, for example, is acceptable, but moves like dropping everything to be with you may be a pipe dream.
#3: Honesty is the bare minimum.
You may not be official yet, but honesty should still be a must. What’s the point of being in the talking stage if you’re just going to lie your whole way through it?
More often than not, being in this stage means you want things to turn serious. If the other party matches your honesty, take it as one of the signs the talking stage is doing well.
#4: Make boundaries firm.
Regardless of your timelines, you two still need to instill boundaries. A tricky phase like this needs them. These help keep misunderstandings at bay.
#5: Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Actions should match words. Approach this stage with genuine intent to avoid confusion. The last thing you need is mixed signals.
Why Do These Rules Exist?
The talking stage has these “rules” for a reason.
Since the stage has no label, daters need to tread carefully. Preferences, priorities, and non-negotiables are revealed. This may seem like making a mountain out of a molehill, but the ambiguity and awkwardness are enough to warrant attention. One unspoken word or misinterpreted action is enough to make an impact.
The rules of the talking stage shouldn’t be too hard for anyone to digest. Even if you aren’t obligated to follow them, they’re still worth anyone’s consideration.
