Appreciation
See It, Say It | A Tried and Tested Method
Stop Keeping Score and Start Saying Thanks
Modern living is fast-paced. Some things are a grind, while others are convenient and provide instant gratification.
Some clamor for and thrive in the hustle and bustle. But for others, that speed can lead them off-track and cause them to overlook the little things. Among them are relationships.
Fast living can become exhausting, sending us over the edge (to varying degrees). And unfortunately, our partners feel the brunt of that.
Don’t lose your connection to chaos. The See It, Say It method is here to strengthen that.
What On Earth Is This Method?
Before getting to its definition, let’s paint a picture first.
Say you’re extremely tired after a long day at work. You want nothing more than to flop on your couch and sleep. But your fatigue catches up to you first, and you nag your partner for a minor inconvenience after they open the door for you.
Busy schedules and chaotic occasions (like the upcoming holidays) can stand in the way of connections. And no, they aren’t the (cartoonish) villains getting between a movie’s hero and damsel in distress. Instead, they’re obstacles that can make you adopt bad habits.
Going by its name, the method means exactly what it says. When you see your partner make a thoughtful gesture for you, the appropriate response is an expression of gratitude.
Is this groundbreaking? No. But with how the world moves, it can be easy to forget that. Even something like “Thanks for washing the dishes. I forgot to get back to them because I was in a hurry” is enough.
You can still ask your partner to do something for you (politely, of course). But this method helps you remember they’re trying their best to keep you and the relationship happy.
Podcaster and content creator Amanda Bouldin tried the See It, Say It method with her husband, which made her believe in its effectiveness.
“You can get so caught up in what someone’s not doing, you forget to compliment them when they’re doing something,” she tells The Everygirl.
How Do You See It and Say It?
In an ideal world, this method should be second nature to everyone. But we live in an imperfect reality, and that vision doesn’t always materialize.
Whatever your circumstances are, you can always learn this approach. Here are a few ways to apply it and express your appreciation and gratitude to your partner:
#1: Phone calls
Say you’ve got a little free time in the middle of your jam-packed schedule. Use that to squeeze in a call to check in on your partner and say thanks for all they do for you. Taking a few minutes to do that is a small gesture, but it counts regardless.
#2: Bedtime conversations
It’s tempting to sink into your covers and drift off to dreamland once you lie on your bed. But a few minutes of debriefing won’t hurt. Take a moment to encourage and thank your partner. This ensures you both sleep happily.
#3: Sweet notes
If this isn’t romantic, then what else is?
There’s a reason notes are among the sweetest things anyone can receive. And they don’t have to be long. Short messages can be just as lovely and effective.
Text messages may be more convenient, but handwritten notes win out because of their personal touch. It won’t take much to write something brief.
Any couple can employ the See It, Say It method in their relationships. It may seem simple, but it can go a long way in making them last.
Reference
Bouche, Hailey. 2024. “The Method That Is Saving My Relationship During Busy Season.” The Everygirl. https://theeverygirl.com/see-it-say-it-method/.
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