ADVICE
So, You’re in a Situationship | A Heartbreaking Limbo
Have you ever been in a situationship?
Then again, you might be unfamiliar with the term. Let me put it this way: you’re in a relationship, but you don’t have a clue if you are official. Your dynamics are different from that of the usual couple.
Modern dating has seen the emergence of different relationship forms, with situationship as one of the most popular types. In fact, according to a Google Trends report, it reached a record high in searches in 2022.
So what constitutes this puzzling phenomenon? Why do many people get heartbroken when they find themselves in such a situation?
Defining Situationships
Before getting to the signs, let’s delve deeper and find out what situationships truly are. What does it mean if you’re in one?
Situationships are relationships that are either romantic or sexual but remains undefined. Commitment and clarity are nowhere to be found. You two aren’t dating, but what you have is more than a friendship. You do many things exclusive couples do, but you don’t have a label attached to your dynamics.
No one falls into situationships because we don’t plan for them. They happen over time, and in many cases, unknowingly. They’re involuntary situations that have blurry lines, leaving many of us confused and clueless.
Unfortunately, situationships rarely end amicably. More often than not, one person has to choose whether to keep things going or leave their romantic purgatory.
How Can You Tell If You’re In One?
Now that you know what goes on in a situationship, maybe you’re wondering if you’re in one yourself. Is the person you’re currently seeing just stringing you along on a hopeless arrangement?
These signs may point you the way to answers:
Sign #1: Labels don’t exist.
Some people fear relationship labels for various reasons, hence why they engage in situationships. They don’t want the attachment and commitment that comes with exclusivity. For others, they’re afraid labels will change the dynamics they have with their partners.
Situationships allow couples to keep things light and casual. However, it has its consequences — the lack thereof won’t let you process your feelings and experiences properly.
Sign #2: Inconsistencies are everywhere.
One day, your partner is hot and filled with affection. The next they’re cold and lifeless.
Situationships are notorious for their inconsistencies. Most people in these setups are unsure about their feelings. Couples constantly ask themselves where they stand, often leaving them confused and frustrated.
Sign #3: Plans are out of the question.
As far as making plans goes, the best most situationships can do is to anticipate things for only a few days or weeks. Because of the ambiguity, making long-term plans is a far-fetched idea. Why? They have invisible barriers that stop a relationship from proper growth and maturity.
Sign #4: The emotional unavailability is clear.
How does your partner act around you? Do they convey their feelings loud and clear, or are they being general and vague? If they tend to do the latter, chances are, you aren’t their priority.
Sign #5: Attention is the only currency.
There’s nothing wrong with your partner liking the attention you give them. However, it becomes a problem if they enjoy it more than you. They may be the type who doesn’t have you in their long-term picture.
Being in a situationship can not only break your heart, but it can also affect your mental health. You can enjoy being in one without regrets, but don’t forget to guard your heart and prioritize your well-being.
