SELF AWARENESS
Still Single? Don’t Worry — It’s Not Your Fault
Dating has come a long way from its humble beginnings. Elaborate and traditional courtship tactics are long gone, and clicks and swipes are the new norm.
But as convenient as it is, modern dating is not without complications. And here you are, still single.
The impersonal nature of dating apps and the countless number of people you have to compete with make things challenging. Even if you don’t use apps and sites, seeing people in person is just as risky — you can be ghosted, or worse, you can end up with a heartless jerk.
You might feel you’ve tried every dating trick in the book, but every attempt has failed. And then you start wondering if there’s something wrong with you.
No, You’re Not the Problem
Dating is frustrating. Your bad luck (for lack of a better term) might make you think you’re the problem. You might have even asked yourself, “Why am I still single?” more times than you can count. You can’t help but take things personally when they don’t play out the way you hoped.
Here’s a reassuring reminder: it’s NOT your fault.
The reality is there’s no perfect strategy. In dating, the outcomes aren’t always proportional to the time and effort you’ve invested. This explains why most of us tend to compare ourselves to other people, especially those who are living out our desired results.
You can’t completely shut that mindset off. However, here’s another friendly reminder: you’re not a worthless loser. Just because your friends and other acquaintances have found suitable partners doesn’t mean they won the dating game.
You Can’t Hurry Love
At the risk of sounding cliché, you shouldn’t rush yourself into relationships. Don’t start second-guessing your self-worth just because you don’t have a partner right now.
And no — you’re not an idiot for giving love a try. It’s much better than letting your what-ifs haunt you for the rest of your life. The fact that you tried is a good thing because you still believe in love.
Dating relies on two things: circumstances and luck. There’s no strategy for beating them because they are unpredictable. Which is why coming up with clever strategies won’t help much. Just because a tactic worked for someone doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll work for you too.
What Should You Do?
Friends and loved ones aren’t being malicious when they try to help you find a partner. After all, they’re looking out for your happiness. The whole world seems in love with love, and they want you to enjoy that feeling as well.
However, it’s understandable how annoying it can get when they flex their matchmaking muscles. You get their well-meaning intentions. But for whatever reason, relationships might not just be in your cards right now.
What can you do?
Take comfort in the fact that you’re not settling for less than what you deserve. You may want love, but you’re not jumping the gun at the first person you encounter. You know what you want, and you have standards. Don’t let anyone convince you you’re making a mistake.
Some people are still single because love takes longer for them to arrive. No two romances are alike, so comparisons aren’t necessary. Why wallow in self-pity when you can take your time and make the most of your life instead? Your relationship status doesn’t and shouldn’t define who you are.
Love isn’t a race. You can still be happy even when you are single.
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