RELATIONSHIPS
7 Valuable Takeaways From Your First Relationship
There are a few things as exhilarating as being in your first relationship. The newness, warmth, and fuzziness give you a high you don’t want to come down from.
As exciting as they are, first relationships can be understandably nerve-wracking. Social media, media depictions, and second-hand accounts (especially negative ones) don’t help much either. While nervousness is normal (it’s your first, after all), don’t let it water down your excitement.
Are you currently in your first romantic foray? If so, that’s great! There’s a lot to look forward to. However, you may encounter important realizations as you navigate your experience.
Things to Know Before Your First Relationship
Here are key takeaways you need to keep in mind:
#1: You don’t need burning passion all the time.
Some believe that people can only enter relationships if they’re madly in love with a person. However, that idea needs debunking. Just because you don’t always feel like you’re bursting at the seams with feelings doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.
Reframe it this way: Does your partner make you feel at ease? Are you comfortable with moments of silence? Do you want to know them on a deeper level?
If you’ve answered “yes” to these three questions, it’s safe to say you have something good going on. You don’t need to harbor intense feelings frequently.
#2: Don’t think about how long things will last.
Make the most of your first relationship by enjoying the present. You won’t realize how great things are if you keep overthinking the end of your relationship. Yes, a breakup is always possible, but it shouldn’t hang over your head like a cloud.
#3: It’s never too late for first-times.
Some people have their first relationships in their late 20s or even in their early 30s, and that’s okay! There’s no deadline for love, nor do first relationship rules exist.
It’s never too late to enjoy relationship firsts. A milestone like an anniversary is worth celebrating. You’re not a loser for entering a relationship for the first time at your age, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
#4: Others make for good examples, but you shouldn’t necessarily follow them.
Witnessing other people’s experiences can be great relationship lessons for you. However, you aren’t required to follow them. Every relationship is unique because every couple has different circumstances.
Comparisons will only make your relationship feel lacking, so don’t box yourself with unreasonable expectations. You don’t need to follow whatever relationship trend other couples are doing. If you’re happy with whatever you have now, that’s all that matters.
#5: Your friends still exist.
When relationships feel new, the urge to spend every moment with your partner is unmistakable. This can be said for a person in their first relationship.
Don’t let that urge make you neglect your friends. They’ve been there for you through the good, bad, and ugly times, even before your partner came into the picture. Spending time with other people is perfectly healthy, so make some well-deserved quality time for your people.
#6: You can’t change each other.
You and your partner are only humans — you are imperfect, and that’s fine. Your flaws are a part of you. You can’t force somebody to change themselves either; if they want growth, that desire should come from them.
Entering a relationship means accepting flaws alongside lovable qualities. Don’t tell your partner to be someone they’re not.
#7: Your relationship shouldn’t determine your happiness.
It’s great that your partner makes you happy. However, they shouldn’t be the center of your life.
Try not to make your relationship the sole contributor to your happiness. Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean your partner is the only person in your orbit. You have other responsibilities to attend to, and you’ve got hobbies and interests worth pursuing.
Relationships are better when both parties are individually fulfilled. This decreases the odds of codependency.
If you’ve just entered your first relationship, don’t think you’re at a disadvantage. Your fresh perspective allows you to love your partner fully without any baggage. Don’t worry about your partner judging you about your inexperience because they won’t hold that against you.
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