Psychology
If You’re Not a Chill Girl (Or Guy), That’s Okay
Many women experience a phase of wanting to be a “chill girl.” And through the years, we’ve all seen our share of think pieces and other content on the subject, some more humorous than others.
But who is she? And what can we learn from her?
What Is a Chill Girl?
Going by its name, this archetype refers to women who display nonchalant and indifferent attitudes. They go about their days without fanfare. Most things don’t faze them. They display little to no emotion, keeping a calm and collected front.
This often happens somewhere between their transition from girlhood to womanhood, and it isn’t surprising. During this period, emotions are at an all-time high. They create confusion, so shutting them down is only a natural reaction.
Another reason some women want to become “chill girls” is because of influence. They see other ladies successfully embody this character and want to walk on the same path. And with that, they try to shed whatever emotion they have and replace that with stoicism.
But here’s another cause, and it’s a sad one: coping or defense mechanisms. Some women have heartbreaking histories in the romance department. As a result, they shed their old selves for colder personas. This front protects them from any potential heartbreak coming their way.
The Allure of the Chill Girl Aesthetic
What makes this persona enticing to some?
Maybe it’s the effortlessness. Or, it’s the fact that adopting this demeanor can bump them up on the attractiveness scale.
The no-frills facade appears cool and uncomplicated on the surface. Some men (understandably) find that attractive because they like their women drama-free. Other men see that nonchalance as a challenge and want them to flip the switch.
For example, there’s this guy who tends to fall for women of that archetype. He’s asking a girl to come over and chill at his place because he wants her to let her pretense go.
Meet the Chill Guy
Let’s switch gears for a bit, shall we?
The “chill guy” operates on the same logic as the chill girl. Their laid-back and casual auras radiate similar levels of indifference. They put little pressure on themselves and don’t overexert their efforts.
Nowadays, people often associate the “chill guy” with a meme of a brown anthropomorphic dog wearing a gray sweater, blue jeans, and red sneakers. The canine appears calm and collected with its hands in its pockets; hence, the meme’s name.
Do girls like chill guys? Like their counterparts, they’re also desired by many. Their appearance makes them seem like steady and reliable figures to lean on, especially in trying times.
Acting Cool Is Useless
Let’s say you’ve fallen for someone. The feeling is mutual, and that’s great, right? But you want to play it cool for the following reasons:
- You don’t want that person to think you’re “easy.”
- You don’t want to be “too much.”
- You don’t want to scare them off.
Your fears are understandable, but toning yourself down will do you more harm than good. You’ll appear insincere because you’ll be lying, not just to that person; you’ll be fooling yourself, too.
The feelings are there, so why bother hiding them? Expressing them isn’t as cringe-worthy as some make it out to be. So if you like someone, like them. Don’t mock yourself or bottle up your feelings.
Good News: Feelings Are Normal
I can’t believe this has to be said, but I’ll say it anyway: expressing your feelings is okay! There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not a chill girl or guy. You don’t owe anything to anyone, so why live by other people’s rules?
