PSYCHOLOGY
How Do Conflict Resolution Styles Impact Your Relationship?
As we all know, relationships aren’t always rosy. But as much as we hate disagreements, they are unfortunately inevitable. Even the most loving couples fight from time to time.
Sometimes, they’ll agree to disagree without issue. However, some moments can lead to arguments.
But before you wave the white flag, here’s some good news: your disagreements aren’t an indictment of your relationship. While they’re a valid cause for concern, they aren’t the death knells some make them out to be.
This is where conflict resolution styles come in. They refer to how people address problems, whether as a witness or a participant.
The way you handle arguments matters as much as their root causes. Why? Believe it or not, they can make relationships. The way you manage them says a lot about you as a person.
And with that, let’s go through each style and see how they affect relationships.
5 Conflict Resolution Styles
Avoiding
Some people prefer running away from their problems rather than facing them. In relationships, this avoidant nature makes it apparent that one (or worse, both) of you would prefer to let issues fester and reach a point of no return than confront them head-on.
Avoiding conflicts and pretending they don’t exist isn’t the best way to address them. Sure, it may provide quick relief, but it won’t entirely eliminate your problems.
Some issues resolve themselves independently. However, others need your direct intervention. So, don’t bank on wishful thinking.
Competing
If the whole deal of the first style was running away, this next one is about butting heads and seeing who comes out on top. It’s a “my way or the highway” approach. Both parties refuse to yield until one relents.
However, since they’re firm in their stances, this style doesn’t focus on achieving a resolution. Instead, it’s more about “winning” the argument, which shouldn’t be the end goal. Arguments played out in this style tend to result in tumultuous fights.
Accommodating
This style is self-explanatory. As its name suggests, one party will accommodate the other’s needs before theirs to preserve peace in the relationship. If a couple were to resolve a conflict this way, one person would typically sacrifice their concerns, even if they weren’t fully on board.
Among the conflict resolution styles, this one is acceptable for small matters, such as where to head for lunch. However, they’re not the best long-term solution. One can only accommodate so much for another; people have their limits.
Compromising
Do you and your partner tend to meet halfway to solve fights? If so, you most likely follow this style. When disagreements arise, you look for solutions that satisfy both of you.
As good as this style is, it can be taxing when done wrong. Overly relying on compromise can take a toll on your relationship. It’ll make you feel like you’ve sacrificed too much to keep the wheels moving.
Collaborating
In this last (but not least) style, both parties treat their conflicts as adversaries. Think of it as an “us vs. them” matchup.
A couple acts as a team to resolve their issues. Of all the conflict resolution styles, this one takes the most patience and energy because teamwork doesn’t sprout overnight. But once a couple gets the hang of this style, genuine win-win solutions will come much easier.
Now that you’ve learned all 5 conflict resolution styles, you may be able to identify yours. Ideally, you and your partner should know each other’s styles to maintain a balanced relationship dynamic.
