ADVICE
Don’t Give Up on Love; Turn Things in Your Favor
When breakups happen, people often tell us that there are plenty of fish in the sea, especially online.
There is some truth to that age-old saying. It’s impossible to count the number of online daters. With so many people signing up for apps and sites every day, there’s no point in tracking the population.
And that saying doesn’t come from a malicious place, either. More often than not, people say it to offer comfort and reassurance for broken hearts.
But since there are millions of daters on- and offline, encountering modern dating horrors is unfortunately inevitable. Bad apples are sadly in the basket for every green flag. Everyone seems to be the worst, and all looks hopeless.
However, don’t give up on love just yet. Here are some things you can do to have a fighting chance:
“Me, Me, Me” Won’t Fly
Whether you’ve experienced things yourself or seen things through secondhand accounts, you know how selfish modern daters can be. You can even ask people on dating forums about it, and they’ll candidly answer.
Social media isn’t doing anybody favors either. Stories of dating disasters have been flooding the internet for years, with scorned singles telling tales of horrors like ghosting incidents and love bombings.
But the thing is, modern dating shouldn’t be selfish! Just because it has complications doesn’t mean people should behave awfully to shield themselves from potential heartbreaks.
Here’s an important thing to note, though: there’s a clear line between selfishness and self-care. The former hurts others, while the latter doesn’t.
Dating Shouldn’t Be a Grind
Why does dating feel like a grind nowadays? Per author Katherine Angel, many people have an economic perspective on dating (Ashley, 2024). If it’s not an investment, it’s a waste of time.
That’s a pretty bleak outlook, isn’t it? It’s as if dating was a man in a suit telling you to hit your KPIs.
Love isn’t a bank. Yes, you’re investing your time, effort, and feelings, but we’re not in the dating scene to make money. Even if things don’t work out between our matches, don’t treat them like failed businesses. Instead, see them as lessons. They’re not invoices to keep track of.
Are you tired of swiping? Feel free to put the apps down and take a break. Dating isn’t an occupation or contest, so don’t become a slave to it just to be partnered up. People on the internet shouldn’t cause your inner hopeless romantic to burn out.
Keep Believing in Love
It’s easy to become jaded in this technological age of dating, especially if you’ve been burned by the same flame more times than you can count. Why bother when you only keep getting hurt, right?
Let me stop you right there.
Don’t let other daters’ transactional views break you. Heartbreaks sometimes put you in the trenches. But don’t forget; you can get out of them. It won’t be easy, but you’ll get through them.
Don’t give up on love, even if it gets complicated. Fear shouldn’t stop you from embracing it. So, put down the white flag and try these approaches instead.
Reference
Ashley, Beth. 2024. “Dating Culture Has Become Selfish. How Do We Fix It?” Mashable. https://mashable.com/article/selfish-dating-app-culture.
