RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
Are You In An Enmeshed Relationship? Look for These Signs
How close is too close in romantic relationships?
While it’s part of your responsibility to fulfill your partner’s needs, neglecting yours to make them happy is another story.
The former is healthy, while the latter is toxic, and chances are, you’re in an enmeshed relationship.
But with such a thin line that separates them, how do you know you’re living that out? How can you get out of it?
Here’s what you need to know before you reach the point of no return.
Defining Enmeshment in Romantic Relationships
No two close relationships are alike. Some are healthier than others. Enmeshed relationships, unfortunately, fall under the toxic category.
In this type of relationship, one or worse, both parties overly involve themselves with each other.
More often than not, enmeshed couples make every choice together. They won’t do anything they know the other won’t approve of and feel responsible for dealing with each other’s issues and emotions.
This overinvolvement takes a heavy toll on their identity. They find it difficult to make independent decisions and actions.
And with that struggle, they look for constant validation and reassurance. When left unaddressed, their enmeshment makes them believe they can’t survive without their relationship.
Signs of Romantic Enmeshment
There’s no leaving an enmeshed relationship if you can’t pinpoint it in the first place. Consider the following signs as warning bells:
#1 Neglect of personal needs
Everyone has priorities. Unfortunately, enmeshed relationships nix that. You’ve become so focused on your partner’s needs that you put yours on the back burner and leave them forgotten.
#2 Anxiety fueled by your partner’s absence
Let’s say your partner has to be away for a few days for a work trip. That short absence is enough to make you anxious. It’s as if a part of you is leaving along with them.
#3 Constant pessimism regarding your relationship’s future
Yes, breakups are always a looming possibility in even the healthiest long-term relationships. However, it’s alarming if you constantly worry about it. Don’t manifest it.
#4 Lack or absence of independent decision-making skills
Enmeshed relationships blur the lines between both parties. The worst-case scenario here is when they both start acting as if they’re one person. Yikes!
It’s sometimes best to make decisions alone, especially if they concern your well-being. Don’t second-guess your gut feeling; it’s trying to say something.
#5 Losing your sense of self
In relation to my previous point, your relationship should help you grow, not make you feel lost.
Just because you’re with someone doesn’t mean you should mold into a different version of yourself to please them.
How to Get Out of Enmeshed Relationships
Send out your own SOS before you sink:
#1: Rediscover your needs
Enmeshment is the enemy of independence. Remember your wants and needs. They matter just as much as your partner’s.
#2: Stop repressing your feelings
Express how you feel. It may take time to get used to it after holding everything back for a long time, but no one should police your emotions and reactions, not even yourself.
#3: Make your boundaries loud and clear
Your limits tell you what you’re comfortable and uncomfortable with. Talk to your partner about them so they can gain a clear definition and understanding.
#4: If all else fails, leave
If none of the above options work, the best course of action is, unfortunately, a breakup. Walking away hurts, but it’s an honest admission that neither of you can stop the bleeding.
The last thing you want is to be in an enmeshed relationship. Take note of the points in this entry to avoid getting caught in a tragic trap.
