Relationships
Is Ignorance Bliss in Love and Relationships?
The Less You Know, the Better?
What we don’t know won’t hurt us — or so they say. Many try to abide by that in most aspects of their lives, including their relationships. But here’s a question some can’t help but ask: Is ignorance bliss?
The Art of Not Knowing
Knowledge is power. But in an age of accessibility, information can get overwhelming. Whether we like it or not, we’ll learn about something as it happens. Details are just a click away. And even if we try blocking off the news, we’ll hear about them anyway.
Knowing the truth about something can bring distress because of its weight. And this isn’t an unfounded notion.
According to the American Psychology Association, 40% of people will choose ignorance rather than learn how their actions affect others. And to some of these people, this choice excuses their selfishness.
While this isn’t a justification, it’s worth mentioning that information can come with negative feelings. And sometimes, ignorance can spare us from them. While that protection won’t last forever, that shield allows for some happiness.
The Consequences of Ignorance in Relationships
Ignorance is bliss in certain situations.
Ignorance is not bliss, however, in relationships.
When we don’t take time to know somebody, we miss out on stronger connections and growth. For example, if you and your match/partner don’t know each other well enough, the chance to build or sustain your bond will slip right out of your hands.
Another consequence is added risk. Incomplete information is bad enough. If you barely understand each other, you may put yourselves in unfavorable situations.
And with that, ignorance also leads to poor decision-making. You don’t know what makes the other tick (and vice versa), leaving you playing guessing games and potentially pushing the wrong buttons.
Bask in the Bliss, But Don’t Be Naive
Aristotle once said humans naturally desire knowledge — we’re curious beings like that.
But some experiences make us turn away from that. Knowing things doesn’t just educate us but makes us emotional too. Whether we’re pleased or dismayed by the information, our feelings get involved one way or another.
The cognitive and emotional sides of knowledge make ignorance tempting. We don’t like discomfort and unfamiliarity, so we naturally gravitate away from both. The truth can get ugly, and we don’t want our norms turned upside down.
That logic can be applied in romance as well. Relationships feel euphoric (especially at the beginning), and we don’t want to come down from that high.
Once we discover our matches’ or partners’ flaws, we get turned off just as quickly as we fell for them. Some even get the itch to run for the hills. Experiences like this are the reason they prefer to keep their blinders on.
But frankly, as uncomfortable as it is, self-awareness is necessary. You can enjoy relationships while acknowledging the bad and ugly. After all, these three things are a packaged deal, so you might as well learn to manage them rather than constantly evade them.
Is ignorance bliss? In the world of love and relationships, the answer is no. We owe it to ourselves to be honest in matters of the heart.
Reference
Winerman, Lea. 2023. “‘I’d Rather Not Know”: Why We Choose Ignorance.’” American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/10/why-we-choose-ignorance.
