Dating Reality
Living Apart Together Can Be Good for Couples
Separation isn’t as Bad as You Think
Living apart together may sound counterintuitive for couples, but hear me out: it can be effective. Even long-term couples can benefit from this.
Staying under one roof is logical, especially for couples who’ve been together for a while. But while this practice is common, some are choosing to stray from that norm.
It may seem like there’s trouble in paradise, but let me assure you: there isn’t.
How about we dive into this concept? Why do some couples find it appealing? How does it benefit relationships?
Defining a Movement
As its name suggests, it’s a practice in which couples in committed romantic relationships choose to live apart.
It doesn’t sound groundbreaking or revolutionary, but stay with me here. Relationships don’t necessarily require sharing a home to share a life. How is it any different from dating?
Let content creator Joanna Dahlseid explain. In a TikTok video, she explains why the two are separate concepts. When dating someone, there’s an expectation for relationship progress. That includes cohabitation and marriage.
On the other hand, living apart together is a setup where living together isn’t the endgame. Couples’ minds may change in the future, but that premise remains.
Why Couples Choose to Live Separately?
Here are the most common reasons couples are living apart together in a relationship:
Career
Some couples don’t share a space because of professional demands. One party may be assigned to a specific state, while the other works a thousand miles away.
Financial limitations
Living together entails a significant cost. Just because one party is ready to take that plunge doesn’t mean the other is. They may have their hands tied with financial responsibilities or other money-related circumstances.
Contrasting lifestyles
Not all couples dance to the beat of the same drum. One person may subscribe to a specific lifestyle, while the other follows a different path. And that’s okay!
Why Adopt It?
Are you contemplating joining in on the practice? These may convince you:
Autonomy
Don’t get it twisted. Regardless of whether you live together or not, this should be a part of your relationship. It’s just that some people are more protective of their independence and private spaces than others. Living separately can help maintain that while also maintaining the commitment.
Personal space
Continuing from the previous point, here’s another thing: relationships shouldn’t put an end to personal space. Despite being a couple, you still have individual lives to lead. You can freely do your own thing and cater to yourself.
Added excitement
There’s a reason many still believe that absence makes hearts grow fonder. Since you live apart, every moment with each other feels extra special. This makes your relationship feel less routine and more flexible.
How to Practice It
Like most things, there are cons. Among them are communication hurdles and insecurities. Work around the disadvantages of living apart together through these tips:
#1: See eye to eye on the setup.
Before anything else, you and your partner should agree to try it out. You can’t dip your toes without having a conversation (or two) about it.
#2: Set proper expectations.
Say you have specific responsibilities in your relationship. Who’s going to play what role? You and your partner should take a moment to define expectations for lesser disappointments.
#3: Have a trial run.
Err on the side of caution by giving the arrangement a test run first. This trial lets you both know if you’re suitable for it for the long haul.
Living apart together isn’t for everybody, so think long and hard before adopting it. But should you choose to give it a go, know it isn’t as torturous as it seems. Good things can come from the separation, so why not try it out?
Reference
Reardon, Arianna. 2024. “Is the Secret to a Happy Relationship Not Living Together… Ever?” The Everygirl. https://theeverygirl.com/what-is-living-apart-together/.
