REALITIES
Modern Dating Is Problematic, but You Can Make It Work
Singles — especially chronically online ones — have heard their share of modern dating horror stories. From ghosting jerks to catfishing scammers, many are (understandably) scared to dip their toes in romance. Who knows what they’ll see out there?
Is the dating scene hopelessly beyond repair? Fortunately, the answer is no. Yes, you should watch your back and protect yourself from horrible daters. However, don’t let them stop you from enjoying romance.
Here’s how you can dodge the bullets while navigating the ever-complicated scene.
#1: Stop the “grindset”
“Grindset” refers to adapting an all-cost attitude to achieve your goals. Nothing can stop you as you work your way up.
While most folks apply that mindset to their work or education, some practice it when dating. When they don’t click with their matches, they think they have wasted their time.
However, isn’t that a pretty toxic way to look at things?
Dates aren’t transactions or investments. They aren’t profit-generating opportunities to maximize. If you want to make the most of them, ditch the grind. Savor every minute of your date.
#2: Be vulnerable
Modern dating culture is all about making quick and easy connections. However, it creates a wall when you and your match finally meet in the flesh.
Apps can make dating feel like window shopping. Once you spot something you don’t like about them, you leave and go to the next person.
However, don’t let the illusion of ease fool you. While meeting people isn’t an issue, getting to know them is a different story. You still have to do the bulk of the work by yourself.
That said, you should be open about your vulnerabilities. How else will you form a connection if you don’t show your cards?
#3: Have realistic standards
Don’t get me wrong — you should have standards. You’re responsible for your energy; you know where your needs and boundaries lie, and no one but you can protect them.
However, putting yourself first differs from selfishly imposing unrealistic standards on others.
Don’t indulge too much in the “me culture” that you see in the media.
The media tends to display curated images. And with that, they cannot fully explain the complexities and nuances of relationships, often depicting unrealistic portrayals.
Such content leads people to be less considerate of others. They perpetuate unreasonable standards, poisoning the well and ruining people’s dating experiences.
However, many continue to participate in these trends, not realizing their effects. If you wonder why many believe modern dating is toxic, look no further than the internet.
#4: Don’t treat people like products
To continue where the previous point left off, the selfishness stemming from the overindulgence of “me culture” leads many to treat people like disposables.
Once they’ve served their purpose, they’ll cast them aside and look for another commodity.
The lesson: people aren’t items. Everyone has faults (including you!), so you may want to learn to understand and adjust accordingly, depending on your needs.
Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare. These four points can help you change your approach and make romance work for you.
