DATING TRENDS
Don’t Make Online Relationship Tests a Measuring Stick
“How do you know your partner truly loves you?”
“Are you the problem in the relationship?”
“How well do you know your partner?”
Do these headlines seem familiar?
Whether you’re chronically online or not, I’m sure you’ve seen some online relationship tests fly by your feed. Often, they come with clickbait titles to catch most people’s attention. One example is the bird test that I covered not too long ago.
Some scroll as they spot them, while others take them for two reasons.
One, they’re genuinely curious. And two, they want assurance. They can’t tell their partners about this wish straightforwardly, so they resort to quizzes and trends to get what they want.
However, don’t take the results as guarantees.
Don’t Set Yourself Up for Disappointment
Some people understandably don’t believe what others say without some verification. Nowadays, platforms like TikTok have taken this into overdrive. You’ll see a test for everything there, with some going viral beyond the platform.
Take the Beckham test, for example. It earned its name from the Beckham limited documentary series on Netflix. Specifically, it’s about the soccer superstar and his (equally famous) wife, Victoria Beckham, dancing spontaneously to Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers’s “Islands in the Streams” in the kitchen toward the end.
Naturally, many admired that sweet moment. The admiration transformed into a TikTok challenge for most women. They wanted to see if their partners would dance with them just as happily as David Beckham did.
I understand that you want signs pointing you in the right direction — who doesn’t? However, tests like these encourage comparison. You’ll only set up your relationship to be something it isn’t.
The more you indulge in such challenges, the more you’ll appear to be someone using a partner (and relationship) for online clout. The last thing you want is to look desperate.
Ace Real Tests Instead
Instead of online quizzes, focus on real-life tests. Compared with their digital counterparts, they have more relevant impacts.
One critical relationship test for couples is arguments. While disagreements are normal, they can become detrimental if not handled properly. Responses matter because they influence outcomes. If you and your partner can handle your fights maturely, your relationship will likely last longer because you let each other know that you care despite disagreeing.
Conversely, passive-aggressive arguments lead to frustration. And when that lingers, your relationship will gradually break down and end.
There’s another relationship test, but this may be something you don’t expect: responses to good news. It can either increase or decrease the relationship quality.
According to Mark Travers of Forbes, a 2023 study states that a positive response characterized by enthusiasm, support, and genuine interest from a partner makes one more grateful for them. In turn, it makes them more responsive to their needs and more committed to them.
As fun as online relationship tests seem, don’t put much significance into them. Even the most detailed questionnaire can’t capture the nuances and complexities of love. So don’t worry if you don’t get a passing mark on an online quiz; it’s not that deep.
References
Travers, Mark. 2023. “2 ‘Relationship Tests’ All Couples Should Pass With Flying Colors.” Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2023/11/13/2-relationship-tests-all-good-couples-pass-with-flying-colors/?sh=3673faee7455.
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