MODERN DATING REALITIES
No, Yearning for Love in The Age of Swipes Isn’t Stupid
In the age of swipes, you may think old-school romance is dead and gone.
Why wear your heart on your sleeve when you can hide behind a screen?
Why talk to your match before ending your connection when you can stop sliding into their DMs and not look back? (This isn’t an endorsement for ghosting, by the way.)
Fortunately, old-school romance is still alive, and people long to experience it, as seen from the many shows featuring it.
One Day on Netflix shows a slow-burn love story set in the 90s when smartphones and apps were nonexistent. Moreover, the latest season of Bridgerton (another Netflix hit) is an ode to longtime crushes.
Now, you may be thinking, “Aren’t these fictional?” Indeed, they are. But fictional narratives often portray human desires. In this case, it’s the yearning for love.
Why Is Everyone Yearning Now?
The yearning for love isn’t new. But some of you may have noticed an uptick in the feeling. Why now?
First, look at how the last few years have played out.
The pandemic spanned the years 2020 and 2021. People could only interact on virtual platforms since going outside meant risking their health. Many can’t help but feel like isolation has stolen parts of their lives.
During 2022 and 2023, going out was safe again. You would think most people set themselves up to reclaim those stolen parts, but many stuck to digital approaches.
Over the last four years, dating has remained the same. Quarantine left daters with no choice but to go online. Even if society resumed operations, they wouldn’t ditch the apps and sites. Given their convenience, that’s understandable.
Second, the pandemic has created disillusionment. People are so used to virtual interactions that they now favor messages instead of the intimacy that physicality and nonverbal cues bring.
Don’t get me wrong; online dating isn’t a bad thing. Some people even found their lifelong partners on the internet! But it can create the illusion of having deep connections. We think we know someone well, but we don’t.
Yearning Isn’t Cringe
Some people believe expressing a deep longing for someone is embarrassing. Playing it cool seems to be a better look for these folks.
But how is yearning bad?
You can try to keep yourself calm and collected. But you can’t deny your desire to give and receive love. And that’s okay! Why repress yourself?
Openness is admirable, given the generally jaded nature of modern daters. Moreover, self-awareness is always a good look for anyone. So, if anyone tries to pile on you for openly expressing your desire for love, don’t give them any time of day.
Yearning for love isn’t as cringe as some make it out to be. You’re not weak for displaying that vulnerability. Instead, your self-awareness makes you brave. You know what you want and are courageous enough to go after it.
Another reason is that yearning makes you human. It may not seem like much, but being open is a bold and refreshing approach to modern dating’s cold nature. Consider that a pleasant surprise.
The self-awareness and openness that comes with your yearning will do more good than harm. Not only are you letting other people in, but you’ll also understand them better.
If people deny you that opportunity, all the more reason you should claim your yearning. It’s not embarrassing to want that for yourself.
Now that you’ve accepted that you’re yearning for love, the next step is to turn that into action. Good luck, and may you find the love you’re looking for.
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